#101: Colourless poetry

This is the first of the few poems that I had written in less than a week. I will share each one, everyday, till I exhaust my options, which will not take many days, don’t worry. Heh. I hope you have as good a time reading them as I had while writing…

In a myriad of colours
And fragranced plastic flowers

Among kisses of lust
And a few peddlers of dreams

Between sentences of meaningless words
And proses of bartered promises

There is, but one truth,
This black and white poetry.

 

 

The X-YZ of things.

I am bitter and not feeling very bright at the moment, so pardon the hatred. This is almost exclusively for a particular set of people in the world and that is, surprise surprise, the ex. It could be an ex boyfriend or a girlfriend or heck, even a friend. It is human tendency to do two of the things that I will write about here, post an ‘end’ to the said relationship.
First, you would want to claw back to the person (assuming that you re the one who was dumped, obviously)
Second, you would bad mouth that person or, listen to others talk bull about them.

Let’s go serially:
The clawing back phenomenon is very common. Obviously, they were an important part of your life and without them it feels empty and you want to fill their void only with their presence. Everything that you would have taken for granted suddenly becomes about them. I read a comic strip on Facebook a while back which went something like this-
Person A-“Yes! I am finally over her. I can live now”
Friend- “Great! Hey, want some water?”
A- “OMG SHE LOVED WATER :'(”

Yes I know It would look better with the comic strip, but I can not seem to find it. Blah.

Anyway, the point is, the feeling is normal. You would do everything in you power to get them to like you again. It is not your fault. It happened to me too when I was dumped, long long ago. I was heart-broken and sad and whatnot. At one point in time, I assumed that person to be someone without whom I would not be able to live, but look at me now; living and all. Ha!
But there are some of you who take this to a whole new level. Don’t play the sympathy card with their friend(s). Yes, the sad part is ‘you still love them’ despite the fact that they ‘mutilated’ your heart and stomped on it, repeatedly. Don’t do that. It isn’t healthy, not for your ego or for the friendship. Just because they took the call of ending the relationship does not mean they aren’t hurting. It does not mean they have a stone cold heart.

The usual protocol after a break up is to not talk for a couple of months, preferably years. Maintain it. Only because a person was your everynight-phone-companion, does not mean they will remain so for life. While dating, people say a lot of things
– I will always love you
– I will watch our grandchildren grow old with you
– Let’s go to switzerland
– Buy a dog
-Laser tag is a sad sport
Making lists is fun (…but I digress)

But don’t hold it against them when the break up does happen. I mean seriously, are you new to the dating world? People say things. It doesn’t mean they did not mean it while they said it! So don’t play the sympathy card. Don’t try to rope in all of their friends on to your side. Remember, a break up always has two people involved. The one to call it quits may have started the process earlier but they need their friends too.

break_up_by_LNePrZ

The second:
And if you DO end up playing the fool by pretending to be the one who is the victim, like they announced war on your tiny heart, grow up. The first rule to move on is accepting the fact that you need to. Pretending to be ‘fine’ and acting ‘cool’ is not helping anyone.
Also, learn to differentiate between those who really want your good and those who just want to laugh at you behind your back while you grieve. Let me tell you my story. Long back, when I broke up with this guy, I was in regular contact with one of his friends. After the break up, the guy had only sad, sad things to tell me about the said boy. He filled me in with snippets of false news that made me pity my ex. The friend told me all about his grades in school (they were low) and  spats with teachers (thee were many), popularity (hated by all class mates) and simultaneously, the friend kept praising himself (high grades, and I assumed he was a teacher’s pet and student of the year). At that age, the three criteria that were mentioned to me were important aspects of a student’s life, the fact that a boy once dated was flunking grades disturbed me. Two months later I came to know how the friend was really trying to make me fall for him. Every word that he uttered about the ex was a tweaked version of the truth, a lie actually.

^the moral there is don’t believe everything people have to say. Also, don’t go on spreading rumours and make the poor -ex an anomaly to the social structure. Respect the privacy. Understand the dynamics of the people. By telling everyone that you love them despite the horrendous way they treated you and describing how you JUST know they never loved you, makes them the bad person . What have they actually done? Broken up with you and not spoken? THAT is the crime you are holding them responsible for and therefore that makes them heartless? Then yes, maybe they’re guilty in YOUR court of law. I have done it myself too, when I was new to this world. But now, I have matured. And I hope you do too.

Da-flopp 2. Why Dabangg 2 is a fail.

I recently watched a Salman Khan starrer called Dabangg-2. It is a sequel to a much better, funnier and politically correct movie called *surprise surprise* Dabangg. Dabangg primarily means something that is well, dabangg…i.e, super duper fantabulously studly and awesome to the power infinity. And the first movie did deliver, be it the item number (munni badnaam hui) or the ‘chhedi singh’ dialogue. The sequel was a pale after taste as compared to the first movie, which released way back in 2010.

But I am not remotely as upset as I am with the content of the film, as I am with two particular dialogues:
i) In a particular scene, the nephew of the badman (Chunni, thats the nephew’s name) calls out to and slurrs the protagonist (Chulbul Pandey). In reply, Pandeyji, as he is ‘lovingly’ referred to, replies with a sexist statement that made my blood boil and almost made me vandalise Inox property. What was it?

Arre chunni kop bolo ki naam jaisa hai waisa kaam kare. Ladkiyo ka naam hai toh unhi ki tarah ghar pe baithkar bacche paida kare aur unka dekhbhal kare.

Which in translation would mean something like- Since his name, Chunni, is that of a girls, he should sit at home and take care of children and deliver more babies (when possible; lets add humour to life)
And that statement of his did not create any uproar of the kind I was hoping for. The multiplex erupted with laughter and the general mentality of the masses irked me. And these are the very people who would participate in Peace Walks and protest against Rapes, when they get a chance. This level of hypocrisy is unacceptable. Besides, this level of tolerance is stupid. Just because a superstar says something sexist, it does not make the statement any less (or more, let us also be fair) horrendous. What scares me is that the girls too found the statement funny. I mean, HELLO?! Women are not present in this world for reproduction only and are certainly not here to make sandwiches for their male counterparts! Grow up, people and Mr. Salman Khan, GROW UP! Just to make a few bucks, please do not cover yourself in this muck, because trust me if I ever end up meeting you I will question you very sternly on this subject. You owe me an apology, you also owe your girlfriend an apology and you owe everyone an apology!

ii) In a scene where this random girl was getting married to a boy, Gaenda (another nephew of the badman) goes up to the bride and asks her to stop the marriage. Chulbul Pandey comes in at that precise moment to prevent a chaos and asks Gaenda to leave the damsel alone. Ganeda’s reply?

Door hatt jao nahi toh main yaha Jalianwalla bagh bana ke chorunga

Which in english would roughly be- Move aside or else I will fire so many bullets that there will be a second Jallianwallah Bagh massacre here.
SERIOUSLY? Is that what cinema in India has come down to? Not even two month after the terrible, bone-chilling shoot out at Connecticut, the makers of this stupid film choose to come out with this dialogue? Do they even know how many people were brutally murdered at Jallianwallah Bagh that day? Are they aware of how it feels to lose ones entire family in one go? This sort of insensitive comment on a national (perhaps international) level was made, censored and released, viewed and NOT ONE MEDIA PERSONNEL POINTED IT OUT? If this is not hypocrisy, then what is? How can a ‘super star’ be allowed to get away with this? What if Ramdev baba had said it; then I am sure there would be a series of news episodes dedicated to maligning the public figure, but because this film was made and it was ‘based on fictional events and characters’, we forgive all of it? What a sham this country and its people is turning into. We dont even realise when we agree to things that should, in an ideal world, hurt our sentiments deeply.

I request you to please share this post, not out of any personal greed but out of a feeling of   irksomeness and apathy towards the people who thought these dialogues would be funny. Now, I dont remember the exact dialogues word by word but I have tried to quote them as accurately as possible and I have not, in a ny way, changed what tey originally meant in the movie. How can people like the producers and writers of this film have the courage to release a film with not one but TWO insensitive dialogues? Apologise NOW!

Dabangg? Not so much.

Dabangg? Not so much.

Don’t. Stop. Believing.

Oh look! One maina is flying by.
Shoot. Doesnt it mean bad luck?
Quick. Spit on me. Or maybe flick your fingers in a way that the bad luck reflects off of me and hits some other person.

That was me when I was in class 6. We’ve had so many superstitions. Black cat crossing your path signifies bad omen. Two mainas in one sighting equals good luck. A leaf drifting down on you from a tree shows that something new will happen to you. There are so many positives and negatives that motivate or hinder us from doing what we want to.

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Don’t run. Dont let people stop you. Don’t let you stop you.

As time passes, we grow up. And we mature to an extent to believe that a leaf or a bird will not have significant effects on how we deal with life or what actually happens. I just saw one bird hopping across the window sill and I dint budge. I just reminisced the minutes I had spent on the sidewalk beside school with my friends making them do weird stuff to make the bad luck go away. I still smile when a leaf falls on me, but I know that it is nothing but a coincidence. I understand now, that good and bad happen as a result of my deeds and my actions..not because of a third force. Certainly not because of a bird!

We begin to lose faith. We begin to act and think practically. We stop being afraid of bees when they enter the room. We stop picking up flowers from the road. We stop believing.
The innocence of childhood, the quiet joy that we felt when a good omen happened around us, vanishes and slowly, life takes over and a metamorphosis begins. We mold an old, soft skin to grow a skin that is hard, toughened and weathered by incidents that force us to stop expecting good or bad things. We stop looking for signs. And signals. We stop looking as a whole and live our lives like machines stuck in a routine.

Don’t!

Stop and smell the flowers. Act crazy when you see a bird. Be happy when it rains and feel scared of a black cat crosses your path. Dont over do it. But don’t stop believing.

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Dude, we ARE free! So, Happy Independence Day.

15th August was India’s Independence day and I came across at least 7 (i did not count) posts asking if we are ‘actually‘ free. Every one questioned the existence of freedom in the true sense of the word. So, I googled the word and tried to answer (and justify) to myself that India, is in fact free and carries forth this message across to her inhabitants.
According to the Oxford dictionary, freedom is defined as the following:

  • the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants
  • the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved
  • (freedom from) the state of not being subject to or affected by (something undesirable)
  • archaic familiarity or openness in speech or behaviour

The country deserves to be respected for what has been tried. 65 years is young. I agree that we have a long, long way to go, but India, has provided for a lot of what we enjoy. We know how badly rotten the system gets in here because we ‘know‘ it. How many of us actually, truly, diligently follow world news? Unless there is a major scam or err, the Olympics, do we really care about how China, or USA are faring? No. Not until our money is involved in the economic meltdown that happened a few years ago. No. Not until our children were working in their nations and got laid-off.

So, no. It is not fair to compare the ‘freedom’ in our nation to that in theirs. A parent shouldn’t compare two siblings because however similar they are genetically, they are each different. Similarly, every country has its history and its unique set of issues and problems.
The American constitution was written in the year 1787 and they have the advantage of more than a century (i suck at math) to themselves!
So quit comparing ‘how fast the internet is’ in the two countries to judge how free WE are.
The political issues there are not even close to the number of issues we have, point noted. The number of political parties which actively participate are TWO. Just two. The number of people in the House are lesser. Whereas, in India, there are this many parties. I could not fit all the parties in ONE screenshot, so you can do the math without me having to actually go through the mammoth task of counting them out for you. I also agree, that this volume is no excuse to be corrupt. Of course it isn’t. Nothing can be an excuse to be corrupt and gobble the money paid by the citizens as taxes. But it also doesn’t state that we are un-free. We are! If this isn’t freedom then what is? If you have a cause, make your party and stand for it, contest elections, win and then, change the nation.

source: wiki

As for the corruption that everyone is SO constipated about. Don’t blame freedom for corruption. If people are dishonest and have questionable morals then what role does freedom has to play in it? It is our sad luck that we are taught the art of bribing. I see many of my friends bribe police officials to get out of traffic hassles and then I see the same friends write status updates on Facebook regarding the Anna hazare issue and voicing how strongly they feel about (or against) corruption. The change has to come from within. You cannot keep asking the same and incorrect questions year after year. Ask if this nation is honest, and there will be an answer in the negative, because ‘honestly’, no one is honest. Not in india and not abroad.
So if your quest is to live in a world free of dishonesty, cheating and liars then you my friend, desire a utopic world, cuz let’s be sensible and understand that this world is not going to happen. WHY? Because there is always a person who will cheat and lie and that ruins the entire cycle of honesty.

And then, let me come to the whole ‘rape’ ‘murder’ and crime point of freedom. According to statistics, 1 in 200 women in the United Kingdom have been raped at some point in their life. Remember, the population in India is far higher than out there, so the number WILL be higher. What is wrong in this country is the Justice system, which is slow. There, because of whatever reasons (efficient jurisdiction and laws?!) the processing seems to be quicker. I’ll need my lawyer friends to guide me through this, so I shall refrain from commenting on this further.
Now I stressed on the word ‘seem’ because I don’t know how fast or quick it really is. It is quicker than ours, especially if we take Kasab’s example! Again, women are allowed to wear what they want and wander on the streets when they want. What we need ‘freedom’ from is the constant fear of being raped. The solution to this problem is NOT running away to a foreign country and pretend like we have gotten away from everything that was possibly ‘wrong’. Men are there everywhere and so is crime. Face it. The chances may reduce but never diminish to an absolute zero. Click here to see how many women feel something similar to, or are actually raped every year in different countries. What needs to change is HOW we think. What needs to change is actually, a lot. But why question freedom?

I recently read an article about how a Hindu family was split in two fractions because their house was exactly at the Indo-Bangladesh border. And no, they were not allowed to stay together in the same nation. Most of the family which was in the West-Bengal region of the house slowly joined into the state. After 65 years, when the grandson went to visit his ‘siblings across the border’, he was astonished to find that they had all converted to Islam as they found it increasingly difficult to live in Bangladesh as hindus. Aside from Shiv Sena’s example in Maharashtra (which was highly criticised as it is), I haven’t heard of any such personal event of forced change of religion. If anything, the minority is placed at a pedestal in India, with all the reservations they get. I don’t wish to get into any of the debate encircling this topic, but hey they’re free here aren’t they?

[On a side note: As far as education abroad goes, yes the universities in certain countries feature in the world’s best whereas ours don’t even feature in the top 200. Agreed. But tell someone from Harvard that you’re from a university in India and they will look at you with an admiration that will make you glow. Trust me, because I have felt it myself.]

I have only touched upon some very basic and fundamental topics here. My aim was merely to tell all my extremely educated friends that questioning isn’t the way out of everything. I know, that joining the politics isn’t possible for everyone (it is not for me) and neither is changing the country possible single-handedly. Yes, maybe the roads abroad are cleaner, but by abroad do you mean just the USA and UK or do you also count Ethiopia as abroad? It is narrow, the way we think. India may not be as good as ‘them’ but we aren’t half as bad either. Give this lady a chance before you run off to a foreign nation on your folks’ money and earn in dollars. She will surprise you. Also, I request you to change your parameters of judgement. Don’t compare freedom by the success that we’ve achieved. Freedom is different. Freedom is when you’re allowed to be who you are and feel what you feel and say what you want to.
What everyone is asking for (non-spittable roads, non-urinated sidewalks, clean government and you-know-the-drift) requires a dictatorship and then, we’ll see how many want the ‘freedom’ back. Aha.

The biggest test of freedom is in the freedom to criticise

So is India free? Yes.
Are we free? Yes.

Don’t stop questioning. Just change your questions and strive for what YOU can do.

-love, stay tangled.

Happy Independence Day!

Things matter.

The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.

They all said they love me. They all said that they’ll never leave..that we will always be together. But life comes in the way always. People get busy. Calls become less frequent. College brings work. Texts drop in numbers. And then communication drops down to just a trickle. And finally, it happens. It drops down to just..drops.

Accept it. People will leave and you will be hurt. There will be a time in your life when you end up feeling empty. What you have to decide is who is worth it.

I have my set of me people. People I know who will not leave me. And they give me strength. And that’s what keeps me going.

This post is wayyyy to Phil. I’ll shush. Go go get off your lazy butt and go, find love 🙂

Thank YOU!

I usually update my blog via the phone and the WordPress app on android is WAY better than that on Symbian. I decided to check my Stats today and was mighty surprised!
I thank you, truly. I got likes on my Facebook page from people I do not know, and that is surely a positive step. the word is spreading. More the people, higher is the interaction and better will be my posts.

Thats the way the cookie crumbles!

Thanks you Romania, for viewing my page more than my home country! That is something really unusual for me, given that my blog does tend to centre around country-specific issues at times. And the rest of the times, they are girl blabbers and philosophy lectures. I am guessing you all like it, cuz in the last 3 weeks I have got a thousand hits (and I am not kidding). Thousand maybe a small number for all the pro-bloggers out there, but for me it is H-U-G-E 😀

And Philippines? I know where that came from. Thanks Katrina. (:

This blog has not only help get through a break up and a patch up, it has connected me to some beautiful people and I have made some very thick friends. it fetched me my job with Lucideus Tech and even got my mother into reading what i write regularly. It acted as a conversation starter with my father and got me praises from the world over. Thank you. From the core of my heart.

Keep sending me the love. I surely do love you.

-stay tangled

xoxo

G-raped.

I live in a small town right now, courtesy college. Okay, big town but town, nonetheless. I think twice before wearing jeans and wandering there. Why should I? Why can I not wear Jeans or three-quarters comfortably in a town where guys roam around semi-naked wrapping their privates in flimsy gamchhas?
I am not even asking to wear shorts. Oh no. That would surely equal r-a-p-e.

GotStared.At

It could just be me. Or you. Or her. Or any of us. I try to act cool and joke about it. I try to pretend like it won’t happen with me but the truth is, that it might as well have already happened. A single girl being raped equals a rape of all of the female fraternity. No, this is not done and no matter how many times it is emphasized on the social networking sites, this matter will not end if facts do not enter the thick skulls of men.

Yes, I generalized. I said men as a whole because men treat women in the collective sense of the term. Of course all men aren’t the same and I myself know hundred males who behave like humans. Bu the hundred and first male is always there, just waiting to break the trust. Someone is always there. Always. Lurking.

GotStared.At

I live in the fear of being given this punishment by some adrenaline pumped guy just because ‘he felt like it’. I feel scared of saying ‘no’ to a guys proposal because he might just do something which I would fail to prevent. Or erase. Or forget.

Not just that…a guy does not have to go all the way to make a girl feel ‘touched’ and I do not mean touched emotionally. Groping a girl or ogling at her will not make her like you any more (or less). Take her permission. Ask her. Respect her. That’s the way to go.

This is not a gender power-play. You cannot ‘assume’ that you can make us do what you want. You cannot mis-treat women because you are men.You cannot simply, rape us.

GotStared.At

The more I say it, the more stupid I feel. Why am I writing this? Will those men read this? I have seen how guys discuss women and by guys I mean men from well-educated backgrounds and families. It is simply disgusting and it makes me want to vomit, the fact that I know such guys. This mentality is the seed for all the vengeance that they harbor. They keep count of the number of girls that they have ‘done’ and they assess a girls qualities by the size of her breasts. What are we- dolls that you will play with? I witnessed a boy go up to a girl and ask her why she wears clothes that cover everything. Imagine his audacity. The answer my friend (sadly), is you. Men like you make our parents teach us to dress well. And by ‘well’ they don’t mean what makes us comfortable; they mean what makes you less animalistic. Why should it be this way? Why can your parents not teach you to look at us with respect?
Why can’t you listen to your folks when they tell you to ‘ask’ a girl out? Why can you not let us believe that we are safe…that the roads as much ours as they are yours after the sun sets? Why do we have to quicken our steps in a ‘bad neighbourhood’? Why does there have to be a bad neighbourhood?

GotStared.At

If a girl bends in front of you to pick up a piece of paper, she was not provoking you. No, she does not want to entice you. All she wanted to do was to pick up that piece of paper…she did not want you to mind-rape her. She surely did not want you and your friends to gang rape her in the alley near her hostel. No, she did not want to be killed.

GotStared.At

I am not safe, and neither are you. And this fact will not change. Accept it.
But don’t stop questioning it.
WHY can it NEVER be safe?

GotStared.At

(all images and posters are from GotStared.At. search them on facebook and follow them. spread the word. that might just help)

The truth about dentistry.

Before i begin, let me clarify that i am only in the process of becoming a dentist and that i study in a government college. My views are mine only and i shall talk about the profession, not the college.

17th July is the date for the counselling of the next batch of aspirants..for MBBS and BDS. I, being a senior, am anticipating an exciting batch with a mix of good bad and ugly people. The foremost truth these poor lost souls need to know is that we dentists pride in calling ourselves Dental Surgeons. So be it. Dental surgeons it is.

I am a dental surgeon in the making. You see we are all trained to be cockroaches. We have to build for ourselves a thick exoskeleton to protect ourselves from the constant hand burning and skin shearing. There is blood wound and tetanus involved too. Girls will shout and scream and boys need to be strong enough to rotate the bench press.
Yes i am still talking about my course. The practical lab work involves taking a hot brass flask out of boiling hot water and then beating it open with a modified hammer called a mallate (to name one process)..
There is a story behind this mallate as well..you see, since we have to beat open a metal container with a flimsy wooden hammer, it breaks the minute it makes contact. So all of us have atleast 9670377 mallates in our lockers. This process is called Dewaxing or Curing, depends in the step you are doing. A lot of things can go wrong. I have had hot boiling water spill on me, have struck the mallate directly on my pinky finger, have had the flask fall on my shoe etc.
Anyway. If you are taking up this course be ready to suffer 4 years of hand bruising and keep some Burnol handy. Your skin shall definitely be more keratinised than the non-dentists of the world. Smile.

Next. We are all ultimately pseudo- doctors in the eyes of the rest of the world. Remember, every professor you have will tell you that BDS is a far superior course than its counterpart MBBS. Believe them.
When i said pseudo-doctors, i meant it. What happens is, since we know that we don’t have to deal with the rest of the ailments of the body, our brain begins to categorise information (read: things to mug) into two folders- non-essential and somewhat essential. The end result is that we don’t really know much in the end cuz all the data ultimately gets stored in the non-essential folder!
Oh don’t get me wrong..everything is important for examinations. I topped. Haha.
So when you old uncle Sharma asks you to prescribe for his disease look confident and hand him an antibiotic. Tell yourself that you know stuff even though you actually don’t. Or you may actually know it. Ha.

The only time will wear that sacred stethoscope is in your physiology prac class. And Medicine or Surgery classes. The first time you put it around your neck, your heart will pound and your chest will inflate.. remember that feeling cuz that probably is the last time you will feel that. Also, everyone clicks pictures that day. Do it. Keep it as a memory.
In all honesty, the need for checking respiratory sounds is pretty remote in our field of expertise. Existent, but remote.

The same thing will happen on the day of your first anatomy prac. You will click pictures of yourself beside a cadaver (dead body) and then go home to show off to your folks friends and grandparents. I did too..there is no shame. But when you will have to remember the names of every artery nerve and muscle and bone and crevice and hole in the body, you will curse yourself for being proud of that picture..

Also. When someone says ‘oh you will perform tooth extractions’, correct them and tell them that this field is far far faaaar more advanced than that. Ask him to change his consulting dental surgeon. Tell aunty that conservative treatment is the way we sway now. Spread awareness.
No, vampire teeth cannot be cultivated on a medium. Twilight is not true. Ugh.

When you pass out of 2nd year, which i will be doing in a months time, be sure of the fact that what you learn the lab and pre clinical classes will all be proved incorrect after you step in to the clinics. Remember how, when we were in school we used to learn one theorem in a class and then when we reached a higher class that theorem was proved wrong? College is no different. Smile again.

Now now. All those who have stumbled into this profession because of a low rank..it is probably for the best. MBBS is a suck-your-soul profession. No offense to them, but i am thrilled to have not chosen that course. Dentistry is far better. Lesser studying and more time. And more money if you care, and if you do things properly.

All the hand burning, picture clicking and remorse over not getting to be a ‘doctor’ will go away. You will make some friends who are irreplacable..though this is true for any course. The things that you did not learn in college will be taught during your MDS or in your clinic.

Be a cockroach. Be proud.
-stay tangled. 😉

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What you will make 🙂

102.

In keeping with what I decided sometime back (read: yesterday) I shall continue to write broken-up excerpts from whatever the hell I think of. Today, I think I’ll write about something that’s been going on in my mind for a day or two, plus about a lost friend.

1) I’ve been a good girl. Up until now, I haven’t really gone out of my way to be bitchy. Whatever bitchy thing I’ve done has come naturally haha, but yes seriously; I have never ‘planned’ to hurt anyone. I don’t drink (much). I don’t smoke (much). I don’t smoke up. I don’t strip in front of random guys. Oh no, don’t get me wrong..I’m not saying that those who do all of the above-mentioned are ‘bad girls’. I’m just saying that I have been good. The Maa-kya-kahegi syndrome is a little too strong in my head and sometimes I just feel it will burst open. But haven’t I been too nice? I’ve always wanted to try that squeezy tube ice thingy you get outside schools or in bus stands. They come in a variety of flavours- pepsi, cola, dahi, mango, orange, lemon..wow, I should try it sometime but… I don’t. Why? because good girls don’t do that. Because, it is unhygienic or because Sweta doesn’t want to see me do that. Aren’t I missing out?

It is not just about the sucking the life out of an ice tube thingy. It is about everything I might be missing out on. Hell I haven’t been mad sloshed and drunk yet. I am a tight arse. And now I feel sad about myself so I shall get down to other topics.

2) Let me remind you about this friend I once had. She and I became SO close in such a short period of time. Everybody knew that oh Sweta and her are bffs. The wall posts on Facebook were nauseating but we kept at it. We were determined to not let distance ruin what we had once we were in college. Well, distance couldn’t do nothing to us! Sadly, she could. It is amazing how well we can all adjust to loss. Loss due to death. Loss due to distance. Loss due to misunderstanding. Or loss due to plain and simple WILL. Up until now, I used to not worry all that much because she had her exams. I kept reasoning with myself that she’d call when she’s free..that she’ll understand she was wrong. (yes, we had an argument and the saddest part about that fight was that she didn’t even know how miserable she had become.) Remember the post Stretch. Stand Up  ? That was for her. And then, her exams ended but she never called, or texted. or emailed. or anything. She deleted me from her life and I, for once did not protest. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

I do miss it sometimes, having someone to confide in. But life has a way of throwing people at you, each one filling up the vacuum left by another or creating their own little space, in a fresh new manner. I realised that I never really am alone. Yes, a lack that ‘someone special’ and yes, I have no bff but that doesn’t leave me alone. I have SO many people who do care about me whereas in reality, I need just a handful. A friend in need is a friend indeed, right?

So, here’s to a friendless me. And here’s to a me, who’ll finally buy that delicious thing for 2 rupees and suck, lick and do all the other pervy stuff you’re thinking of right now.
– tangled much?