In the ideal world

People who work hard should get their dues. People like me, like the few of my friends who actually work crazy hard should get what they are working for. The world is far too competitive for its own good. It is just so difficult to focus every day of every week of every month. It is difficult to make plans in the evening when the rest are inviting you to go partying, without having to worry about the unfinished multiple choice questions. It is difficult and therefore, I demand to be duly repaid.. With a good college, with a promise that my work will pay off and pay off well enough to keep me happy. Because, if I’m not happy…none of this is worth it.

It is tough to kill my Id and let the Ego and Superego take over, so tough that Freud would have been proud. I wish I could just glance into the future to see what it’s like and make it work like a positive motivation. I wish I had a ginormous brain capacity where I was a prodigy like (I can not think of a name). People say they wouldn’t change a thing about their life. I would. I’d keep the same people but I would definitely make a few changes. A little dab on the unwanted here, a small erase on the unnecessary there.

Sigh. Back to solving MCQs.


Choices have to be paid for

There is a price I have to pay for the choice of my career is that I find it impossibly difficult (and expensive) to go abroad, for education or work which is one and the same thing for me. To go to any country, I’ll have to go and repeat a part of my curriculum which completely negates my work in the home country. Besides, india needs me more, right? Yes, the US has a better life (better being a relative term) and the UK has the best life. And Naples has better food, and Germany has better cars, roads and basically everything is greener on the other side of the border but why should I have to pay for this decision with my heart? Every person I’ve liked, be it my best friend, a fellow I met a few months ago who’s turned out to be one of my closest, my crush or my romantic interest… everyone is going abroad. This leaves me in a very peculiar fix. I can blame this on the stars and call it a typical Piscean trait. I’ve forever been torn between what’s practical and what I want. It has never been both, and I’m using the word never liberally here. Doctor vs creative profession. India vs abroad. Staying at home vs staying away.

I’m tired of losing people in the proximity terms because I choose to stay back. This decision is fairly certain because more than anything, it takes a lot financially and i refuse to pay another country revenue to make me a citizen. The only country I’d go to is Denmark, and I see no way of that happening.

I’m tired of having to choose someone to like based on where they’ll be five years from now. I’m tired of Skype calls and viber. I’m tired of the Internet encroaching on my friendships, and social media replacing heart to hearts, because “OH yes it popped up on my news feed and I liked it.”

I hate a dilemma.

Sleep and choices.

Ever since I’ve joined college, and I did so three whole years ago, I’ve had to make a lot of choices. Most of the choices that I had to make were basically between sleep and other-non-important-thing.

The first decision that I make every morning is choosing between a few more minutes of sleep and a bath. No, seriously,  we all bathe once a day and we know that is supposed to be sufficient but is it essential for it to be in the morning? None of us sleep when we’re supposed to. We sleep late and regret it every morning but do we correct ourselves? No no nooo. We sleep in the afternoon and feel blessed, yet again. So, bath sleep..sleep bath? What did you choose today?

The other choice is between a romantic rendezvous with a lover and sleep. But this time, the afternoon sleep, thus, making us all the more deprived by night. Then, do we sleep early? Nu uh. Nada. Negative. There’s some weird hormonal chemistry that makes us stay awake, robbing us from the siesta and every plan of sleeping early goes down the drains. A friend collapsed or a friend is born..hostels are a busy place at night. Dark circles, hello!

Following which, inevitably, our adorable colleges will schedule a term paper thus choosing between sleep and studies is the next tough choice. Sleep wins, mostly. You can’t battle sleep with books open, unless maybe, if there’s an endless supply of Redbull. And coffee. And smokes?
‘Sleep is..defined as a……’ *snore*

There are endless number of nights that we stay awake, surfing the internet and watching episode after episide of House M.D, Gossip Girl, Grey’s, That 70s show and whatnot. It always begins with ‘this will be the last one I watch’, the battle between the laptop and our dreams. We literally stay up and watch films about dreams rather than sleep and dream for real. Or sleep,for the very determined..but do you really not want to know what Meredith says to Derek? :O

And then, there are times where all we do is sleep.
Class? Forget it.
Bath? Are you crazy?
Girlfriend? Screw it. (You wish)
Studies? I’ll manage.

Sitcoms? Okay, just one though. . .

‘Nuff about sleep. There are a lot of other seemingly difficult choices we have to make while in college. Of course i dont want the world to think that, us, college students have nothing better to do, than sleep.
Now this is assuming you’re away from home cause lets face it, if you were at home, mommy would make sure you ate your dinner instead of making a Top Ramen broth three out of five days at night.

#1 do I wear the same night suit twice (maybe more) in the same week? Washing clothes, such a pain. Ironing them? Hahaha.
#2 should I maybe study instead of staring at my phone for half and hour?
#3 should I clean my room, including that corner with the spiders..and the floor?
#4 should I get off my bed or sleep?
Oh, wait, this was the list without sleep as a choice. Sigh.. I guess I am out of things that don’t include sleep. -_-

Lets face it, the things that keeps us from sleeping without hesitation are
– 7% battery on the laptop/ phone while surfing the internet.
– beer party in the next room.
– a sudden knowledge of a pending lab report in class tomorrow.
– an exam, maybe.

Writing about sleep has made me drowsy.
Stay strong.

Boys, I tell you.

There is a college right beside my room in the place that I live in while attending college. Raj college. And it is blaring out songs at full volume because of its fest. And I can’t study. The thyroid isn’t half as interesting when a not-so-melodious singer sings remix Hindi songs. And my roommate is out, she’s watching her professor perform some surgery and the other flat mate is a boy, so expecting him to be a little considerate and be there with me while I get bored even after telling him so is useless because he is sleeping and because he is a boy.

Q: Are all boys like this?
A: Yes.
Q: Men too?
A: Yes!

Take any boy you know, however mature, they are irresponsible and irritating and sing weird un-tunely songs proclaiming themselves to be the king of the world. Sorry, I got carried away by the songs being played. But either way, boys live in a pseudointellectual world of their own where the world is all chilled out at relaxed and no work needs to be done in time. They have their own schedule and own timetable, completely ignorant of the other half of the world; females, and therefore oblivious to the harrassment we have to face simply because they decide something isn’t as important as the PS3.

All humans with penis are the same at the basic level. Some may understand more than the rest, some might care more than the others but the problems remain the same. The mature ones aren’t good looking. The handsome mature ones aren’t your age. The ones that are your age are short heighted. The tall ones are too tall and the absolutely perfect ones don’t exist. Well, some do but who cares cause they aren’t available in the first place.

Boys don’t know how to converse. They don’t know how to talk. Hell, they don’t even know language. Very few know how to write. And even fewer know how to interpret.

Bleh. I hate the songs that are playing and I am VERY irritated and I’m lashing out on men. No, they’re actually nice things and deserve to be treated with care and fed biscuits and patted from time to time. There essential to the human race and did I say I hate the songs?

I’m hating them more because I am alone and my roomie is a spoil sport sometimes and doesn’t dance with me when I want to. The party and the fun always happens when she is in the mood. I’m sure, when she comes back she’ll not be super enthusiastic about it when I ask her if we should get up on the bed and dance our killer moves. All she’ll say would be- ‘No I have to study cause sir will ask questions tomorrow’ and I will have to go to the other room so that she can study in peace and I’ll be technically alone again 😦
Only if she is in the mood to have fun, we have fun and I hate it. Urgh!

– crossed. tangled. whatever.