If I ever sent you a voicemail, this would be it.

I almost miss the sound of your voice but know that the rain
outside my window will suffice for tonight.
I’m not drunk yet, but we haven’t spoken in months now
and I wanted to tell you that someone threw a bouquet of roses
in the trash bin on the corner of my street, and I wanted to cry
because, because —
well,
you know exactly why.
And, I guess I’m calling because only you understand
how that would break my heart.

I’m running out of things to say. My gas is running on empty.
I’ve stopped stealing pages out of poetry books, but last week I pocketed a thesaurus
and looked for synonyms for you but could only find rain and more rain
and a thunderstorm that sounded like glass, like crystal, like an orchestra.
I wanted to tell you that I’m not afraid of being moved anymore;
Not afraid of this heart packing up its things and flying transcontinental
with only a wool coat and a pocket with a folded-up address inside.
I’ve saved up enough money to disappear.
I know you never thought the day would come.

Do you remember when we said goodbye and promised that
it was only for then? It’s been years since I last saw you, years
since we last have spoken.
Sometimes, it gets quiet enough that I can hear the cicadas rubbing their thighs
against each other’s.
I’ve forgotten almost everything about you already, except that
your skin was soft, like the belly of a peach, and
how you would laugh,
making fun of me for the way I pronounced almonds
like I was falling in love
with language.

– Shinji Moon

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Summer happiness.

I haven’t felt this exuberant
In months,  perhaps years!

Like a child holding on
To a helium filled balloon
In one hand,
Against a bright blue sky
On a fine summer morning.
With a dollop of ice cream
Of his favourite flavour-
Chocolate chips and orange
In his other hand,
Melting onto his shirt.

Like his baby sister,
Who claps her hand
And cackles loudly
Whilst her tiny palms
Clap louder and louder
And she keeps doing it
Because she enjoys
The sound, and
For no other reason
Than just that.

Like their lovely mother who
Sits on the grass
And looks at her children
Who so effortlessly remind her
Of how beautiful life can be
And how simple it really is.
For, to be happy
All you need is
Children,
A little ice cream,
Some clapping,
And a balloon that makes you
Look up to the sky
Against the sun,
On a warm summer morning
With the people who love you
More than you could possibly love
Yourself.

A restaurant.

I went to a new joint in town,
They served food and cheer.
They also served me crisps,
With unlimited beer.

I ordered the platter,
The one with everything on it?
It took thirty five minutes,
The time didn’t quite matter.

For as I looked around,
I noticed the decor.
It seemed like a yesterday.
I’d given up on before.

As the beer satiated me,
I thought of how much
This place resembled my life,
Could this be possible such?

On further investigation,
The menu read as follows.
Some meat, some love
Food and then, hollows.

There were salads and dessert,
Also, passion and love.
I chose the platter with all,
All that was above!

Guilty, I looked around.
The walls were my beating heart!
Was I ready to take the plunge?
The realisation hit me like a dart.

I returned my food,
But could I return what I felt?
For I…had ordered,
A plate full of myself!

Lost moments of glory,
Summer love and rainy afternoons.
A tangent of youth and,
A mouthful of macaroons.

And for dessert there was you.
And the evening walk around
The fair in October,
The feelings that abound.

I couldn’t look at the delicacies,
The manager looked worried.
The review on Zomato
Might just turn out hurried.

He gently came up,
Warmly, he asked.
“May I help you, madam?”
As the fleeting emotion passed.

I said I would be leaving,
That I needed to pay my due.
He laughed and looked down,
Said “This is all you!”

I looked quizzically,
And then I noticed them.
The people were my acquaintances,
My people, my friends.

It was all in my head,
I had ordered as my muse.
I think I need a doctor,
Probably Dr. Seuss.

Panicked, I ran.
And I felt a thud on my fist
I banged the wall repeatedly,
Until it turned to mist.

And I walked into a valley,
With a river full of red.
Sweaty, I woke up
With a shaky hand on my bed.

I looked around to make sure,
Yes, it was an imagination.
My memories were dangerous,
My memories were my salvation!

The axis of time

There will come a time
When you’ll know of how it felt
To love you from a distance
To look at you from afar.

When time itself will pause
And change its course
Like a hurling four wheeler
Against a child on the road

Because momentarily,
The world will tilt on its axis
While it smirks at how naive
I’ve been about it all.

And the shift in its being
Will remain forever
In memory of the brief
History of my love affair

The 26th degree of earth
More than 2,600 miles
It’s the tilt in time that
Finally saved me…

From you.

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Miss-taken

I saw him come into me.
As he entered,
and took his shoes off
Sat on the bed, head in his hands
His shoulders moved
With each sigh.
Those shoulders
Which grazed past my very being
Every morning when
He made his froth less coffee.
I know, his head in hands, he is
Utterly and unquestionably
In love.

I look at him as he leaves
Each morning.
His then frail body,
Now taut with age and time.
I watch him think; knees spread
Body tensed, mind adrift.
I shelter him from what I feel
He isn’t capable of bearing.
Surprises are something
I’ve never enjoyed
And he has a knack of springing
The unknown upon me.
And I’m expected to accept.
Accept it all, like a home
And four walls should.

I am what he knows
Will be there even when everything
Crumbles, swallowed
Or washed away.
I am who he returns to
After the turmoil is over
After the hurricane stalls
I have to be static; stoic,
Even when he sits there,
Head in his hands
Broken and in rags from
Effigies of what remain.
The happy embers of
The days from the past
Searing through his memories
To burn his skin,
And I? I save him.

I am his place of comfort
I am… stagnant.
Unnoticed, thankless,
A presence taken for granted.
And yet, I stay and stay in wait
For the epiphany,
For the realisation..

I exist, I tell him,
Shout and I scream
And then silently weep
While he returns to the one
Who stemmed his woes

I exist, I whisper.
Give me a chance
To be a home
Instead of a mere shelter.

I exist, I murmur,
I am a person…
Not a home of four brick walls!

I am a surprise

I was a wall of wings,
For every time you touched me
I’d break into a brilliance
That covered the horizon,
I’d break into a sky
Full of butterflies.

I was a guillotine of thoughts
For each time I was cut,
I’d flood the fields
That stretch beyond infinity
I’d flood the floor with
A thousand ideas.

I was an empty vessel
For each time you
Poured me out
With one strike,
I set the room alight
Like rum on fire,
Because empty I wasn’t,
I was gasoline.

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When We First Met.

The universe twisted on its spine
When it felt what I felt
When I first met you.
Every breath left my body
With a dozen lighting strikes
Raining into the ocean.
And, as you quenched my soul
The earth swallowed
Every droplet of rain
Like morsels of rice
To a starving man.

The words you said
Rang in my ears like
Wooden chimes
Making love to the wind
On a stormy evening
Right before sunset.
And, the leaves bent over
Backwards;
Belly up with joy
Every time you
Whispered my name.

You swept me over
Like a glacier in sun
While I melted into
You.
And time itself moved,
Like a tadpole of water
On an infinite panel
Of translucent glass
Engulfing every drop
That it could ensconce
When you embraced me.
When we first met.

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Made by, Yours truly.

December remember!

It’s going to be that time of the year
When we want to kiss at twelve am
And keep kissing till noon.
The time when homes smell of cookies
And the ginger bread man.
The time when no one complains
Of the grease in the food
Or the love that’s lathered
In mother’s handmade cake.
When the sky is bright till midnight
And tiny lights drape the walls of
Tiny, cosy little rooms.
The time when bodies are warm
With mittens, wine, santa hats
And the winter weather charm.
When colours seem to merge together,
In the long nights
When the road is covered with mist
Every early morning
When you snuggle under the duvet
For just a few more minutes.
The time when you would fall in love
Like snowflakes fall to the ground
And the world is happier place
Cause happiness.. is this time of the year!

^_^
Happy December!

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Something shifted.

An incident that shook her,
Carved in a new scar,
She changed the position,
Of her furniture.

A 56 degree rotation,
The slight tilt in focus,
Something altered from within,
Something shifted.

The myopia of the situation
Cleared away,
Like mist before rain,
Like dust after dawn.

Some years, they ask
The others, bear answers.
Like a reel within
A handheld camera,
From several births ago,
Found in the attic.

Once exposed to light,
The reel,
Rendered as helpless as
A fawn who couldn’t stand.

The truth shining through.
Piercing the lazy morning
Like a thread through an eye,
She winced.

The photographs now,
Bathed in sunlight,
Pale.. anaemic almost.
Fighting to keep the truth,
Alive and awake.

She stifles them with light.

Closer to the window
The sun,
Her liberation and
Their assassination.

Gravity.

Oh Gravity, my gravity,
Fly gravity, defy gravity.
Build gravity, curse gravity,
Hold on to me, oh gravity.

Centre of the earth, gravity,
Peak of the universe, gravity
Still gravity, vague gravity
You and me; together, gravity.

Senseless you, intense gravity,
Nonchalant me, fickle gravity.
Here gravity, that gravity,
Coming closer, mysterious gravity.

Pull hither, near gravity,
Push away, repel gravity.
There gravity, this gravity,
The free falling, forever gravity.