Is the world big enough?

How big is the world? How big does it have to be to matter? To me, the world with all its gazillion people, is already too big to be ignored and Fortunately or unfortunately, the world does matter to me. It is officially, too big to be ignored. I cannot possibly understand how anyone could say ‘I do not give a shit’, because whoever says so LIES. Everybody lies. The world is too big and you are too small. The world doesn’t give a shit about you not giving a shit, if that makes sense.

It definitely means something to me if someone is hesitant, not unwilling but hesitant, to let me into their world. I am nineteen and there are high chances of me having met you after the better part of you has been nurtured, wired and programmed to behave in a certain manner. And that is perfectly fine. Even I have my tantrums and setbacks, I have my thoughts in a twisted concocted manner which are sometimes far beyond what people expect off me. But we are two different people and differences are welcome as long as we decide to work upon them and turn them into something that would unite us. Okay, no that isn’t possible I know. But we could at least try, right?

the world is big enough to matter. And I am old enough to matter as well. So if you want me in your life you might as well tighten your belts, pull up your socks and do all the other wardrobe stuff and bloody well make me feel a part of it. Words, they are stronger than texts and actions, they are stronger than words. And hugs? They are the strongest! Take the first step and for once, don’t make me give you the surprise. For once, make me feel like the lady. Make me feel less like the man in charge and more like the damsel to be rescued (no, i am not in distress). If you’re my friend then send me an essay about us. If you like me then tell me. If you don’t, then might as well say that and end the facade. ANd friend, if an essay is too much, then just make a plan to meet up with me.

You are a but a tiny speck in the world, but hell, without you the world, my world is incomplete. So you better feel like yours is incomplete sans me.

Image

– Love & extremely tangled!

Who the f* am I?

This is not one of those revelation kinda posts. This is genuinely, me asking myself- Who the fuck am I?
I am not asking this with the intention of discovering  myself. I know who I am, but who am I to people? I was talking to a friend of mine, asking her what kind of girlfriend she is. Weird question, I know, but then, I often catch myself thinking about these absurdities in my head. So what kind of girlfriend am I?

Now I just feel bored with this topic so I am going to stop writing a long post.
In a nutshell I suck at being in love and I am a terrible girlfriend. The moment I see something serious happening I feel claustrophobic and I run. Run so far away that the partner starts detesting me. Good way too shoo ’em unwanted ones, eh?
Although, in my defense, I have not really been in any mature, adult relationship so I wouldn’t know. I would like to, though.

Sigh.
These are the times I wish I hadn’t broken up with someone.

Anyway,
Till I’m glad-der.
xoxo

THERE IS NO PICTURE ON THIS POST. Hmph.

Cheers! To creativity!

I have been busy. I am in second year of college, studying Dental Surgery (bachelors degree) in a godforsaken college which is run by the Governmant of West Bengal… Oops! Paschimbanga. Everybody say that the 2nd year is apparently the most difficult year of the course and that i should study more all day. I don’t see that happening really. Whatever the pressure is, however much I need to slog- I just cannot manage to put my sweet ass on that chair for as long as I’m expected to. While studing today, I wrote the following:

I wish I could spend a day or two

Visiting the ruins and Paris with you.

I’d rest my head on you chest

And lie beneath a starless sky.

The crescent moon shining alone

While you and I ride back home

The empty highway and silent rain

My hands on you, your cheek against mine.

And in the dim light of your room

We’d make love and laugh together

Sweat soaked sheets clinging to us

The waxed candles flicker in the wind.

I look at you, you stroke my hair

Caress my hips and I know you care

There’s a storm, can you see it come?

It’ll destroy you, it would demolish me.

Love me, I tell you and you oblige

I reach my peak and the storm goes wild.

The wind reigns mighty, the air is tensed

Will it begin only to end again?

Feelings overwhelm me with an aching heart

You acknowledge it and embrace me

While we fall into the well of passion.

Oblivious to the destruction it will cause

Not knowing where the lightening has struck.

Love me blind, do not think

Love me crazy, do not wait

Feel me breathe and feel me want

Rain on me with torrential love

Pour me down with yourself.

Let this storm never subside

Let the calm never return.