I’ve often seen myself to crouch in like tortoise when I face strong people. I don’t mean people who are physically strong..it is the mind that I fear.
Such people are not found everywhere. One needs to dig into the world and run in circles which present these people. They aren’t born this way, circumstances have made them strong both mentally and spiritually. They know what they want and they know exactly who they are. They know black from white, right from wrong and past from present. They know all this because they have seen the greys and uncorrected truth.
Uncorrected truth. Can truth really be corrected? Is it not supposed to be unadulterated? But what of we add on to the truth..not correcting it but simply adding to it? Does it change the truth or merely add another layer to it?
In our country, a female is worshipped in the form of goddesses and the same female is made to serve tea and massage her husbands dirty feet. Which truth am I to believe? Both of them are equally true and stark, at that. If I change the latter it would still remain the truth? But with a change does it remain the same truth or is it a new truth that I have formed by the alteration? If I do change the latter, in a hypothetical utopic world (sadly) it would be eradicated, and then what would remain of the truth that used to exist?
This is just one example. And with so many truths and so many variations of one truth, what am I supposed to believe and how am I to decide? Who tells me if my choice is the right choice? Who decides which is the right choice?
I am faced with options and I am exposed to media which burst out opinions and views and temperaments at me day in and day out. The people..the strong people that I was talking about initially have also made their choices from these very sources and from life. How am I supposed to form my view about an event that hasn’t occured with me yet? How should I decide if I am a feminist, or let’s say a theist or an athiest?
I have my set of beliefs which are constantly questioned and ground and refined and battered and bruised. I am questioned and bombarded with how I am to believe in someone else’s belief. Everyone guards their set of views so closely and so strictly. I am correct and you should listen to me as well. I have worked hard to develop these beliefs..this truth..
Should I listen to them? I want to make my own truth but I am not sure where to begin. Do I like the colour pink? Do I want the world to be under dictatorship? Does god exist? The kind of people I fear do not have any indifference towards anything. They have a view about everything. Open to change, but rarely do they change. They have an answer for everything. They have an opinion.
I want to be able to make a point and stand by it but I often lack the confidence to hold my own. Yes most of you will feel that I already have a strong character but that is because you yourself are as confused as I am..I can defend myself before you. And you believe my truth as easily as you would believe theirs.
But I make, in front of them, desparate attempts at hiding my naive attempts to formulate a truth system for myself.
Let me state the example of how I formed one of my beliefs. There is a God. I made my theorem about the existence of God from an interesting class that I attended. Started believing in the existence of God once I learnt how amazingly intricate yet astonishingly similar each and every human body is. Every bone and every detail is similar in each of us and yet we are all different. Every chemical physical and biological change or reaction the happens in and around us is proof of the existence of God. Science, he most vehiment opposed of God is ironically, the only proof of Its presence. I believe. (I have the entire write up which shall be posted later)
But such life altering experiences are rare and happen at times which are least expected. Should I wait for an event to occur and wait for the formation of beliefs or should I make mine on the basis or the few experiences that I have already have and hold on to an opinion that may or may not be entirely correct?
This brings me to an opinion being correct and incorrect. Yes. Every aspect of life has a correct and incorrect..but your opinion is yours. It may or may not be correct. You may or may not decide to change it once you learn the difference and are enlightened about it.
Strong people scare me. They are so obstinate about their views and opinions that even after knowing what IS correct they choose to rebel and believe in their truth rather than the whole truth. The truth however, is often tinted by the rules of society. So what am I to believe? Should I blindly believe the strong ones and follow them, should I accept the rules of the society or should I wait indefinitely for an event which may or may not occur so that I am strong enough to make my own belief?
I like to think of myself as malleable. Neither too rigid about what I think nor too flaccid. I have an opinion about everything and will defend it till I can but I am open to change. But that’s just till I can call myself strong. Till then, I’ve decided to do what the picture says..
I may not agree with what you say but I will defend till death, your right to say it
Here’s to a lot of questions and being open ended. Here’s to options. And here’s to opinions.
Here’s to me. And you. And a coexisting world.
-stay with me.