101.

I have not been active AT ALL on my blog for the last, i don’t know how many days. I’m sorry. I had work in college + exams + I was being lazy. I kept thinking to myself ‘no one reads it as it is so no one will miss it either’. So that is how I, lets say motivated myself to give it up. No, not because I was busy but because I thought this was not worth it. It was like one of those things I started but never really finished- not a virtue, I must confess.
I have a lot of things on my mind, something that happens to me quite often. I have tonnes of ideas lined up in my head but when it comes to the writing, the real deal; it all fizzes out somehow. So i have decided that I will name the posts as 101, 102, so on and so forth and write down each thought. Might get boring but oh well, I try my best.
So, this post will cover two things. 1 is gossip and the other is business.

1) One cute guy started dating one dumb girl. And when I say dumb, I mean dumb, not in a blonde combs-her-hair-after-car-wreck way but in a doesnt-know-2-plus-2 way. And he, is cute! So nice and intelligent too. And i fail to fathom how she roped him in! No, seriously, there must have been some magic dust involved. There must have been wizardry and maybe, just maybe, seduction. How is it that blondes get smart asses of men and vice versa? Is there some unwritten rule in Mother Nature where the main objective of co-creation is for the not-so-blessed to copulate with the ‘given’? Why?
Okay let us take the example of my super awesome (sarcastic) college. There are like 40 students in 1st year, 25 in my batch, i.e 2nd year and about 45 in the 3rd year. among this small number, we have like a trillion couples. the college, after class hours becomes a miniature version of Victoria Memorial at dusk, if you know what I mean. it is almost as if their sole objective to attend college is to find someone to marry! And I am not exaggerating they refer to each other as hubby and wifeĀ from the first frigging day of their ‘relationship’.
Yes okay, you feel like kissing, making out, hell, even having sex so do that- find a girl (or a guy) and then do it in a room. Why mate like, mate for marriage? And trust me when I say that most of them have settled for each other because they feel being in a relationship is the ultimate form of inner peace, and all this from a guy (yes he actually said that to me, in Bengali of course) who doesn’t even know how to drive a car. YES, I AM THE ONLY ONE IN MY COLLEGE WHO KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE.

So help me understand why people end up dating funny partners when there is so much more to do. Okay yes the couples look hilarious to me from outside while there might just be real love within but I am not blind. Anyway, I hope they give me good food to eat when they do get married. All my questions will be shushed by the oily maach they serve, woohoo šŸ˜

2) I might just end up being a content writer for a company so YAY! More on this, later…once things get finalised and started. Also, I made decision. Most of the times I don’t blog is because i have to put up pictures, which take up time and effort and I is lazy bum. So, I will only out up pictures if I feel it is easy to find. Meanwhile, when I was away from blogging, I got daily hits out here. I just checked my Stats and they are pretty okay, given the frequency with which I write (or don’t). I got a few more followers and ‘likes’ on Facebook too. that’s cheered me up.

– Stay tangled.

OH, and Happy Birthday to Sneha! I love you, more than you know!

There is no relation whatsoever of this picture with the text. Dont go searching!

This one does. I need to stop our kids from turning out to be half dim-wit people!

The IPL plea.

On April 4th, most of India was glued to their television sets, tuned into a channel rarely watched otherwise by sensible people, to watch something that has become an annual ritual. The IPL was here. The Indian Premier League. *imagine the blow horn, er, blowing*
I wasn’t an exception. Despite being in college, which by the way, is located in a place which qualifies as a town, I went to a restaurant and watch the likes of Priyanka, Kareena and Kate perry sing dance and frolic to. I was expecting a match, but sigh, I always expect unfeasible things off the Indian junta.

I had to support Ā KKR by default. I used to watch each match with bated breath. Even as they lost the first two matches, I continued my support. then they won and lost and dragged along. Then they climbed up to the top 4 and I relaxed.

Dekho SRK. Hum jeet sakte hai!

So this friend of mine asked me if I’m watching the match and I flipped. I had stopped following the IPL! The unthinkable had happened. Ā I am at home and I have a television set, in all its Plasma glory waiting to be switched on and I wasn’t watching the match!! I was free! Free off the onus of knowing every score of every match with every detail about Orange caps and super sixes. I was free from 4 in the evening till 12 at night to do what I pleased. The IPL fever was gone. Woohoo! Freedom, Glory!!

And ^this was how I felt.

The IPL was a success, and it should be. It has captured the attention of the masses in the most cunning method possible.

  • It’s got cricket which is GOD in India, hell yeah! I mean, people keep themselves free, take sick leave from work to sit at home and watch those matches.
  • Since the Indian public is raving mad about it’s celebrities, Lalit Modi devised the best way to ensure packed stadiums- get celebs into the arena and voila! the people are peering backwards at the owner (read SRK, Zinta) rather than the match. But that was the story of the first few seasons. This year, at least my friends are less excited about him and more about KKR. What an achievement!
  • We all know how short our attention span is. at most it is, what 20-30 seconds? And the shortest an IPL match could get is 5 overs, right? What more do you want- from twenty-twenty you go right ZAP down to paanch-paanch. Reminds me of hide and seek aka chhuppan chhuppai. Dhappa!
  • And with such a short format, no one will be able to spot a rigged match! So everybody wins and everybody is happy. (though a fixed match isn’t all that hard to guess)
  • IPL gives the perfect excuse to hang with friends, cheap too- 500 to 750 at the max and you have atleast five hours of guaranteed fun irrespective of which team wins.
  • Cheerleaders! The perfect food for the desparatesĀ in us. Only if they aren’t theĀ apsaras of my home team, though. They look like a cross between a terribly suffocated woman and a brinjal.

  • Finally, IPL has cricket. Oh, I said that already šŸ˜›

And why do I not watch it anymore?
Because it is boring after a point and I have work. Also, because Only the finals really matter. I wonder who won today’s match though…

Few Words:

The four words which make a girl feel elated, absolutely thrilled, which make her genuinely happy are notĀ Will You Marry Me?
They are You Have Grown Thin!

The most satisfying experience isn’t sex. It is a) licking on melting chocolate b) to go shopping and find clothes that make you look sexy or whaaaa.

HoroscopesĀ : the one thing no one will agree to believe in yet have a stash of the ‘star sign’ bookmarks. I know you do too.

Everyone gets scared when a baby starts crying and the mother isn’t around. A baby is cute as long as it’s not yours when it poops and cries.

There is no better feeling in this world than the feeling after a goodĀ shitĀ faecal excretion! Trust me, it can take you from Ah to AaahaaAAaa.

People fart.

Farts stink. And the bed vibrates while you feel someone else ‘pass air’

‘I Love You’ is less likely to make a girl say it back to you. Do something to make her say it to you first.Ā Smart boy, she wants to say it to you, just give her one frikkin’ chance!

There is a God.

There is Evil too.

You still need to survive.

(this post is getting serious)

Follow a sport. Any sport. Do it with all your heart and you will know exactly why I asked you to.

Love isn’t life. Music is.

Set your priorities straight. Trust the right people.

Read something inspiring as often as you can.

Burp!

And… Stay tangled. (:

The lamenting heartbreaks- for what?

I’m the insomniac and I’m disgustedly sleepy- BUT I have to get this out of my head.
Why in the world DO we ever like-like someone. You know, the eye-fluttering, Oh My Gosh he/she’s cute routine that all of us are so eager to jump off into?

It’s bull shit. Crap. Suicide.
The number of hours we simply waste day dreaming about him (I shall write ‘him’, you suit yourself) when we KNOW he wont like us back. Screw him, go invent a space ship or even better, play Counterstrike or something.
Fact remains, he’s not yours. he belong to that blimey-eyed-doll-faced chick wearing next-to-nothing. He’ll not like you when you like him. No. That is just simply against the laws of boy-hood. Silicon draws ’em more than sweet talk, I guess.

“Jo bhagwan hume naihn de saka, woh hume Doctor de sakta hai”

 And trust me, it sucks to know that you’ll always be Just Friends. Damn you, idiot. I don’t want to be your ‘just freind’. I am ‘just friends’ with girls thankyouverymuch.
Go, drown in your pool of porn.

Boys, I tell you are freaks in there own way, but then why do we still love them and kill ourselves over them- him to be particular. I am just so annoyed. Ugh! I am blabbering. I just hate the fact that I drool over a guy who’s so cute and adorable but so stoned. Not stoned as in doped,
 stoned as in- no emotions.

See, I’m losing my sleep all over again. At first ‘cuz ‘I’ liked him. and now ‘cuz ‘he’ doesn’t like me. Teenage! God’s cruel in His/Her own ways. 
We’re all so bundled up with studies and then added to it the Hormones.
Girls, specifically have a glorious few days to smile about every month (thank you God, again- you rock šŸ˜ ). Then you have all these conflicts with your parents, the relatives with the ‘Oh, tum kitni badi/ lambi/ patli/ sundar ho gayi ho song, the friends who text you incessantly and you just HAVE to reply… Sigh.

Then add the cherry on top of the cake; love with a rolling ‘rrrrr’. Lurrrve.
We draw, sing, write, dream, doodle, drool and did i say dream? Dream about
a) how it would be if he really does like you
                                           b) the proposal
                                      c) the kids.

Yes, omg. I know girls, friends (even boys dream) about kids right down 
to the gender and eye colour! Say that to your X chromosome now.


But still we have Dabangg  heart-on-sunglasses type expressions when we see him. It’s like the best feeling in the world when he touches you by mistake, when his fingers brush yours while he hands over his pen to you, it’s disarmingly adorable when he hugs you to say goodbye, when you’re jealous because your Friends tease him with some other girl, 
when you look into his eyes and time freezes.

We’re suckers for romance when it comes down to all the good stuff. But what about the nasty side of it? When his touch was just a touch, when his fingers brushing yours was a coincidence, when his hug to you was a hug amongst mannnny others, when he actually DID like that other girl (bitch) instead of you, when he stared at you only cuz you have funny hair that time and time only froze cuz the AC was on 16.

Yeah, i know, horrible, isn’t it? and I’ve been through it way too many times now (at least for me). And I’m scared to like people now. I’m scared that I’ll be turned down every single time and that finally my name will end up in the Times Matrimonial column with an Alliance Requested line written underneath. :O

I want love too. And I want the boy to be man enough to admit his love. 
Love, not a boyfriend- I want love. 
I want this life where heart breaks are as impossible as stars in a city sky. 
I want want want. 
I need.


‘As I kick you in your behind’