Why the new year turned out to be happy after all.

The first words that I have said to anyone, be it my domestic help or my best friend, in  the last few days have been- Hey, happy new year! But then, what is truly so amazing about this year, or for any such beginning for that matter? Almost a week into 2013, it is turning out to be exactly like last year, maybe just a little more grown up. So what makes 2013 MY year? How am I going to let this year define my life? This is definitely not going to be a post on my achievements from last year or the mishaps from the past. This is not going to be about how i grow as a person this year or how my life will change because of what I eat.

The new year is really never good. The partying made my back ache and my neck cramp. I danced like a mad-woman and my hair was knotted and tussled. It is even worse for those who follow the drink-puke-pass out-drink cycle the next day, thanks to the hangover. Why o why do they say that the new year is good, or happy? January first, for most people is a haze of aspirin and missed calls.

This New Year party thingumajimmy that we all participate in was the best I have ever had till date but the days that preceded it made it what it was. It wasn’t all sun-shine and stars, trust me; there were tears and waiting in  the sun for your boyfriend to turn up, and there were last-minute panic phone calls to your girlfriends about what to wear and then ultimately looking stunning! Trust me when I say this- I had not expected the new year to be this great. Oh! and there was almost a break-up that was on the cards, but that dint happen thankfully.

My blog has hit 9,000+ hits already and it is not even a year old. I have already typed an application for an award to the Indian Dental Association for topping my college. I did not break up with my boyfriend, and we look so hot together. I have the best pals in the world. My parents just booked another apartment in another city. And life looks sunny! The last month two weeks were probably the most fun two weeks in the history of my life (minus the days in Thailand, of course) but this was so much fun!

My cousin, who is studying the US (so proud) wrote to me about how his friends ‘love’ my blog. Thank you, people. *big shout out*. Oh. And the drummer of ‘p a r i k r a m a’ messaged me himself AND gave me his number. I probably shouldnt be bragging about it but sc-o-o-o-o-reeee! And even better- he praised this blog and I quote ‘Very inspired writing’.

My brother and Mr. Mahajan here made me get my lazy arse back to the laptop and type-type-type. And thanks, to all of you too! Your praises make me write better, lyk rlly mks me wryt bttr. (laugh if you got the joke)

I remember, on Christmas Eve, my friends and I stood in queue (we broke in) and fought really hard to get into the Church and it was totally worth it. I cry every time I step into a Church and that night, while the Priest blessed me in His name, tears flowed down my cheeks and onto my tee and then to my jeans. I was overwhelmed by everything I felt and everything that was blessed unto me and everyone I had met. I cried because I felt blessed more than anything else I felt.

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I remember crying my eyes out when I saw my friends acting like a couple before me. I missed S so much I couldn’t help but cry. I felt like  a limb was being torn away from me. Everytime the couple held hands, a part of me ached. And then we met and there were smiles and tears and jokes and going out and hatred and discoveries and love and all that shizz!

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I remember laughing like a kid while playing Taboo with all my friends then throwing Santa caps in the air, followed by Shisha and then dancing in the winter chill, it was all worth it. Drinking a peg or two of whiskey and the holding on for my dear life while swaying my head to dance numbers for 6 straight hours without rest. I have never dont this and I never exercise so my body was shocked to do that much work with so much attitude in that much time! 😛

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All in all, this year is off to a good start. The praises for my blog and the praises for my photography have made me happy. I found a boyfriend who is an idiot and loves me like one. I found new friends who’re dating my best friends. My best friend finally had her first kiss. I understood how mature we are all becoming and how childish we still are going to be. I love my parents and my grandparents.

Happy New Year to all of you. Continue to de-tangle (or mess it up even further) with me !

Fake this shit!

It has been a while since I last posted here. Have been busy. No, make that- very busy. third year of college started this October and I have finally entered The Clinics. I was super kicked about reaching this particular year, given that I am halfway through undergrad college and that means I am 50% through the ordeal called Barddhaman. and I was pleasantly surprised! I reached Burdwan on 1st and headed to college and waited for 30 minutes to greet my professor (what with all the ‘first impressions’ thing going on so strong these days) and I was informed about the Intra-college Sports tournament that was being organised.
My dad was in the Indian Army and I’ve had a fairly okay exposure to sports. By that, I mean i can move better than most girls and I mean that in the most innocent way possible. So, I signed up for Badminton (given that the other sports were Football and Carrom, neither of which I was sure of playing, I can shoot alright in Football but that’s about it). And I cleared the quarters and then reached the semis. Knocked out and I lost to the final winner so no pride lost.

Anyway, as Clinics duty proceeded in the day, the sports tournament moved forward after college. And I shouted A LOT while cheering for my batch. The usual ‘jeetega bhai jeetega’ and ‘ come ooooonnn!’, blah, and I cheered for the opponents as well O:)
I even wore track pants to college. Oh, and my work in the clinic was basically in the Prosthodontic Dept. and I made removable partial dentures for two patients. One has already been (successfully) delivered and the other is due on Wednesday. There is this fake sense of know-it-all while you are around patients…i say fake, because obviously I don not know it all, I am merely in third year. But you get to actually BE doctor after all the years of playing with plastic stethoscope and toy ambulances and this halo of importance and reverence surrounds you and you just, feel, important.

All the bitterness that was there last year, given the political influence on my baby college, I felt happy that we were all bonding and more importantly talking! Talking too is fake- it gives everyone a fake importance. ‘Oh, we talk’ ‘Oh, he spoke to me’. Just because we talk, it doesn’t mean we’re close. It just allows all of us to carry on with our lives without others feeling left out. People feel they’re close to you because you talk. WOAH! Huge epiphany! We’re all wonderful actors. No really, take a second and sit back. Think about all the times you have pretended to be something/someone you are not IN A DAY. And it is perfectly normal to pretend. We’re taught to perform in a particular manner from the day we learn to understand emotions and that is exactly what all of us do. We all act. we all pretend. We all put up with a farce.

So, how are we making the ones we love know what we really feel. To come to think of it, we need to be real sometimes! Shouldn’t we be able to be ‘who we are’ before the ones we care about at least? As for me, I don’t pretend before the ones I like/love. Strangely, I become even more blatant and point-blank and then I end up hurting them. Shaa.

ANNNNYWAY. There was also a DJ night in college following the Sports tournament which left all of us super-fit doctors with neck cramps and shoulder pain. I couldn’t move out of bed without an Ooooh-aaaah for four days in a row and I enjoyed every bit of that night and those ten days. It is good to be back with college ‘for real’ and even with all the aforementioned pretentious behaviour, I am happy. It is great to have stories to tell and jokes to share twenty years down the line. I hope this stays the way it is, or it may become better. 🙂

-stay loved. stay as true as possible!

Living life like a boss. And CAKES!

Whenever I feel lazy to type in a blog entry, I start hyper ventilating. I keep saying to myself (while I procrastinate)- ‘OMG, Sweta, this is it, this is going to be the last time you try to write something and your blog will slowly decay into oblivion and no-one will care’. I start thinking of topics. Every thing, even ants and dust seem to motivate me to write but nothing is ever good enough. I know, some of you do read my blog regularly (have i ever thanked you enough?) and some don’t (why, WHY?) but will it matter if I stop writing?

Now this is not a quest for fishing compliments. I am only just being honest. I would miss a blog if it dies (given that I like it already and it is awesome and its death is untimely). I love the blogs I follow and I read them regularly. I am like this dog that returns to its place of worship but then, there are days where I just don’t feel inspired enough to write something substantial. I mean, hello? I have a standard to keep here! So days go by before I write something for the blog and by that time the stats fall down to a trickle. Shaa, what a waste huh?

Anyway, so what i was saying was that every time I decide that ‘that, that post was IT and my blog will definitely die NOW’, I get a new follower or a new like or a new comment. Something positive always happens and I get all bubbly and bouncy about it. I feel like a little girl on a sugar rush and my fingers automatically type in a new post. 😀

So here’s one for today-
I have been on vacation. post-exams I have nothing to do but laze around, surf the internet, watch TV, watch movies (i recently watched Casablanca, An accidental husband, Autumn in New York, Lost in Translation and Barfi :D), watch House and catch up on Gossip Girl. Oh, and blog. And Read!  It being international book week and all, I decided to buy one of the International best sellers. I am currently reading Shantaram. I am loving it till now and I am only on the 30th page. Shantaram is also my mum’s gift to me on Daughter’s Day! (thank you ma!)

Thats what I did last night- Some old wine, a new book, and chocolates. 😀

My mother’s going on an exchange programme to Germany as a teacher representative and India being a tropical country, we were short on the required woollens so she and I went shopping. She bought her stuff while I looked around the clothes and wandered into Crossword and then, I got stuck. All the books literally stared back at me so I went through some of them (Catcher in the Rye, What Young India Wants, etc) and then decided to buy a book instead of buying clothes. And the moment in which I made that decision, I felt so happy and grown up. I felt like I was buying something that was for life. And so, I am now a proud owner of Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts. And then mum and I went to a cake shop and I ate a big slice each, of  Blueberry cheese cake and Chocolate Truffle Cake. And then I was bloated. And then we went out decided against having Puchka. We ate Puchka nonetheless and happily trotted back home.

Yumm.

Double yumm.

I read the first page of the book out loud (because it was that good) while mamma tried on her new acquisitions. Oh, and she recently purchased a saree for herself which I wore as well, yknow, just to try it on and my god did I look awesome or whaaa? 😛

India, Incredible India?

Life has become and endless session of TV-Internet-Shopping and phone calls and I am not complaining. College reopens on 1st and holidays (for Durga puja) begin soon after so yes, I am living life right the way I want to!

-Enjoy and don’t detangle!

Why I wont miss second year.

I finished my final final viva exam. No, that isn’t a word repeat error. I actually gave my last final exam for the second year! and when i waltzed out of the conservative dentistry dept., I actually ran to the canteen and jumped in joy. and then I shouted out for my roomie (who was nowhere to be seen) and then I found her looking up patients (already) and we hugged while the bedazzled patient looked on at two girls hug in their aprons (or doctor coats, for the layman). That was a quiet a scene. We adjusted ourselves and controlled our joy, straightened our hair and gave the poor boy a prescription for his gingivitis. Well, we didn’t, our professor did but, oh well.

Anyway, that was that.
Second year is finally over and I will not miss it. I’ll tell you why and I read this somewhere. I am going to list the things that I will not miss about college (or second year, for that matter) and therefore fell happy. That is how the glass-half-full people look at life, right?

the people
The people in my college are not my kind of people. In case you have read some of my previous posts about college, I have made it insanely clear that I have exactly ONE good friend  (my roomie) and then there are two others who fit into the list of people I can like and the rest are nagging, self-proclaimed-know-it-alls who merely attend college because they happen to be in the same state as the building. State= the geographical state. Dont get me wrong, they are all nice people but just not the kind of people I would miss, since that is the whole point of this post.

the curriculum
The curriculum for the second year is vast. VAST. And I do not understand why the DCI doesn’t provide us with a concrete syllabus. There are so many hazy lines in the syllabus which are unclear and I, like the nerd-good-girl that i am, had to study everything. I can safely say that I know more pharmacology than at least 40 percent of the med students and that is no mean feat, given that the government increases the number of MBBS seats at the rate of cancer!

the city/town
So a few months back Dominos opened up a franchise in the B-town and it was more crowded than Calcutta pandals during the pujas. I mean, people it is only just pizza and not very good ones at that! I went in to my usual coffee place and ate donuts that day to defy the public trend and to prevent being killed in a minor stampede that occurred shortly after the first pizza was called out to a family of 5. Yes, grand mommy wanted pizza too 🙂
And that is probably the most happening place in the city/ town. There’s a pub too, but the DJ plays very sad songs which are remixed with bad beats. Impossible to dance. They do not make a mean screwdriver either. And I had fallen into a bowl of green chutney in there so I avoid going there out of embarrassment.

the fights
I have fought with, misunderstood, disagreed and lost touch with ALL the important people in my life. Be it my best friend or my boyfriend. This year has been way too exciting for me and I could do with some sort of balance. I am working on it. I have already got back two of them and I don’t really want the rest back so Yay! I will not miss the fights but I will miss the plotting and planning my roomie and I had done to sabotage her ex boyfriend’s new relationship. But then, we decided that we might have more fun feeding laxatives to the ones we hate and went with that. but then our conscience kicked in (angels, we are) and we did not do that even though we had a full bottle of Mag. Sulf. in our hands. We resorted to making fun of the drunk guy who proposed to her and clicked funny pictures of our other room-mate, which if leaked online will cause the poor soul to kill us.

the politics
No, the politically inclined have not left college. They still cheat in exams and get undue favours and think themselves to be the kings and queens of the world (how small is their world?!). Those of you who know me on Facebook might have read or even shared/liked a certain Open Letter that I had written (which was subsequently deleted by ‘people’). but I decided that my life is far above their dreams. Like, my reality is more cherry-on-the-cake than what their aspirations will ever be so why bother? I distanced myself from them and I refrain from acknowledging their presence in my life from this moment on. Also, I am scared that if I turn into Rani Lakshmi bai in front of them, they might just harm (read: rape) me or my roomie. Better safe than sorry, eh?

the studying without understanding
No further explainatino required in this one. We all do it, and you know why and how and all the details.

 

I know, this isn’t the fun and frolic post that I should probably make my BIG return with after my hiatus post exams. So yeah, here’s the fun part.

I am amazingly relieved that the wretched exams are over and I finally get to go into clinics and kill people. Muhahahaha. Okay, kidding. I am shit scared of the fact that i can just kill someone with a wrong or perhaps, a right diagnosis. I am surrounded by people with shallow aspirations and I need to breathe above the muck. and such dangerous thoughts help me. I am crazy, no? Haha.

Anyhoo, I am certified to touch your teeth now. So if you are prepared to let an under trained person do you, err, your teeth for a fraction of a cost, call me.

See my teeth? Ha.

 

Dont. Trust me. Dont call.

 

-tangled and joyous!

Carpe Diem!

Often, we find our minds wandering. for instance, I was supposed to be sleeping now but my mind refuses to shut up. It is thinking at a speed that is faster that light and far too difficult to slow down. Doesn’t it annoy you when you’re really trying to concentrate and do something, the thought of something totally random brushes past your mind and it’s almsot like the mind is trying to run after ans seize that thought..and in that attempt, YOU completely lose track of what you were doing. Say, while reaidng (or studying) don’t you read an entire page but not know anything about it? the mind goes into a trance. And this ‘zoning out’ happens way too often with me.

And what my mum says is true. Noone can make you do something if your mind doesn’t want to.

Trreat your mind like a dog

 

 

 

Think of your mind as a dog. Yes, you heard me. And now, train it to listen to you. It wont be easy. You’ll have to take it out for walks, feed it, nourish it, love it, make it grow, let it breathe, let it play but most importantly, you have to teach it to be loyal and to be obidient; the latter being the most important part of it all.

 

 

Treat your mind to the occasional snooze days where all you do is sit and relax. Take your mind out to strolls in creative places- write, draw, explore, exercise! Feed it with information, news, study something new everyday, solve crossowrd puzzles 9or for the more akin, Sudoku). Nourish it with good food and by good, I don’t mean salads..eat the food that pleases you, that makes you drool. Love your mind for your mind can take you places. Let it play- imagine, dream, desire, LOVE. Never hasten your mind to think like an adult. It will only be what it really is, your mind, once trained to think like someone it is not, will forever pretend and i know, noone wants that. And finally, make your mind listen to you. but who am i kidding? Making your mind do that is not an easy feat.

Everyday would become a stepping stone to achieve that schedule in your ‘mind training’. Scold it, scorn it and one day, maybe you will conquer your mind. But that will only be an illusion:

You think that you are the master of your mind but in reality the mind is the master of you.

It becomes a vicious cycle. You make the mind listen to you and ultimately, will yourself start listening to your mind. The mind is a powerful device. What it thinks, you create. What it dreams of, you achieve. What it hopes for, you make happen. the mind is who you are. you are what your mind is.

Sieze your mind. And you shall sieze the day.

Carpe Diem!

Stretch. Stand up.

Till where can you stretch? No, I do not mean ‘stretch’ in the true sense of the word like elasti-girl stretch..because that would just be perverted and cheap!

Not her!

By ‘stretch I mean- what is your limit? Have you set any standards or are you floundering about this big beautiful world till you get to a point in life where you can look at yourself and say ‘Eh, not bad’? Are you okay with being dependent on people around you? Even if those people are your closest, truest buddies, would you pile on to them for every little thing in your life or would you rather open a dictionary to look up the word P-R-I-D-E?
God, Almighty, Allah; whatever name, has given you two arms, a pair of feet, a head with a brain in it and a heart. Use that heart to get yourself to feel something. I’m going to hint at: ego. Yes, everybody says that an ego is a terrible thing to have. And we all know one fact (thanks to House MD): Everybody Lies. To me, Ego is nothing but Self Respect. Weigh things out proportionately and nothing in life is bad. Jealousy is good too, it’ll make you perform better if you know what I mean 😉

Anyway, I digressed.
Ego. Ego is good. Ego is necessary. Without an ego, you don’t really know who you are or where you draw the line for someone. For instance, how much would you let a friend support you? Yes, I said friend. Omg, now don’t jump up and say ‘But he is a friend so he is SUPPOSED to help me out’ or ‘She is a sister, more than a friend, she loves me’. Trust me, after a point, you need to frikkin’ stand up on your two feet and look down at the world with contempt. Contempt because, the world gave you a friend who halts your growth. If you have no one, then you have noone to either push you up..or pull you down. Friends are great to share, enjoy, vent, bla bla bla. But when a friend becomes a means to get what you otherwise wouldnt be able to get on your own, then you must rethink your so called friendship. Yeah, friends become family after a point but they can never replace your family.

A few days back, this friend of mine was telling me how lucky she is to have been able to live with a family which she got to choose and a family which so SO loving and so much cooler than most others. That she ‘got’ to choose to live with them and that she’s one of the lucky few. I’ll tell you one thing; my family is not perfect by any means.. I mean i could find a trillion things that I’d love to change, alter, add, do away with but never, in my wildest dreams, would I choose some other family over mine. It maybe broken but it is MINE and I will guard its integrity till life leaves me.

Draw a line. Live above it.

Respect yourself. Respect what your family has (or hasn’t) provided you with. Fill in those blanks that stare gapingly at you. Get off your sweet ass and do something about it instead of leaning on people. You have a spine, use it and stand straight.

One day, the world will know you for who you are and not for who you were with.

Break free if it's a facade.

Cheers! To creativity!

I have been busy. I am in second year of college, studying Dental Surgery (bachelors degree) in a godforsaken college which is run by the Governmant of West Bengal… Oops! Paschimbanga. Everybody say that the 2nd year is apparently the most difficult year of the course and that i should study more all day. I don’t see that happening really. Whatever the pressure is, however much I need to slog- I just cannot manage to put my sweet ass on that chair for as long as I’m expected to. While studing today, I wrote the following:

I wish I could spend a day or two

Visiting the ruins and Paris with you.

I’d rest my head on you chest

And lie beneath a starless sky.

The crescent moon shining alone

While you and I ride back home

The empty highway and silent rain

My hands on you, your cheek against mine.

And in the dim light of your room

We’d make love and laugh together

Sweat soaked sheets clinging to us

The waxed candles flicker in the wind.

I look at you, you stroke my hair

Caress my hips and I know you care

There’s a storm, can you see it come?

It’ll destroy you, it would demolish me.

Love me, I tell you and you oblige

I reach my peak and the storm goes wild.

The wind reigns mighty, the air is tensed

Will it begin only to end again?

Feelings overwhelm me with an aching heart

You acknowledge it and embrace me

While we fall into the well of passion.

Oblivious to the destruction it will cause

Not knowing where the lightening has struck.

Love me blind, do not think

Love me crazy, do not wait

Feel me breathe and feel me want

Rain on me with torrential love

Pour me down with yourself.

Let this storm never subside

Let the calm never return.

 

Bolted doors of the sleepless nights.

I just finished watching Iti Mrinalini. And there isn’t one happy even in that movie. Don’t misunderstand me, it is a beautiful ‘chhobi but I cannot understand how there can be so much sadness, sorrow, melancholy in one person’s life.

I mean, how much can one person take? Is there any sorrow that we cannot overcome? Is there any loss we cannot forget? Is there any void that cannot be replaced? Does ‘loss’ mean anything, really?
Nothing that we lose is irreplaceable. You’re here, right now. Tomorrow is a new day; you may not exist. How many people will miss you? Yes, there will be tears, yes there will be a few days where people are stunned, shocked, PTSD-ing. But what after that?

Life.Goes.On.

To paraphrase from the Film ( and I am taking huge creative liberties here , while paraphrasing)
We merely believe that we control our fate. That we are superhumans who can write destiny, who control the future, who manipulate the truth. We don’t. All that we do is play as a pawn in the larger scheme of things. Everything is planned. Everything is pre decided. We’re an illusion of our own creation.We are not who we want to be; we are who we had to be.

I have not really been through any such terrible event in life which would force me to re-think my life. I hope that’s a good thing. I have had a the usual heart break warfare and the family melodrama, but isn’t all that what constitutes life and, well, growing up? I like those parts as much as I like the parts with ice cream and candies in them. If there is no bad, then how would I know what’s good eh! I missed studying in a college in Calcutta by one rank. ONE. It’s a hard loss, but there is nothing so miserable about it. And that’s the closest example I can get out of mu life, right now..till now.

So what IS miserable? In relative terms, nothing is. Every sorrow, every tear, every frown is only justified in extremely personal and completely individualistic terms. My sorrow is mine, not yours so don’t pretend to empathise. You cannot. The world is full of problems- no drinking water, global warming, Mamta Banerjee [ 😛 ] so I don’t hold my problems in prime importance. Someone told me that the sorrow in the world never reduces the pain, instead it increases the magnitude. I disagree. Pain is pain to only the one/ ones who’re feeling it. And by ‘feeling’ I mean truly going through it all. Trust me, none of us want to go through the no-drinking-water sorta pain. We;re all oh! so delicate. We’re not meant to feel that kinda loss or lack. We’re delicate. Our sorrow isn’t what someone else will be able to fathom just like we wont understand anyone else’s. So do me a favour- the next time someone says ‘I am sad’, just sit next to that person and wait for him/ her to calm down. You do NOT know what is going on so stfu!

We all ‘move on’. We all ‘get over it’. Everyone is born with that inbuilt mechanism to cope with loss. Every orphan grows. Every mother can survive. Every family re-builds their roots…it’s just with reluctance, that everyone carries on. And that reluctance to carry on, to live, to forgive or forget is what ultimately makes us human.

To live, is human.
To love, is human.
Everyone lives, perfectly.
Everyone can love, in their own flawed way.

Life is an absolute. It is singular.

You will be wronged, this world is a bitch.. but never forget the love that you get.

-stay tangled.
xoxo

 

The Uprising.

There was not a sound around him. Silently, un-steadily he walked ahead.
He was alone. He was loved, don’t get me wrong, but alone.

How much are you willing to trade for something so special that it’s not possible to own? Something which is elusive, not material. Something that is touch-and-you-lost-it. Something that you’ve wanted for a long long time. Something that you later realise, wasn’t worth it at all, that it was too glorious for you to have asked for it. Something so magical that it shouldn’t even exist?

Have you ever asked something simple and received the most extraordinary blessing and then realised what a curse it was?

He wanted to be a man.
Instead, he was made a legend

Have you felt that?

There have been times where I have closed my eyes and furiously prayed to God, to anyone for better health, for better grades, for better people… more often than not, I have been granted my demands, my whims. More often than not, I regretted asking for them. Now, I have the best of friends, the best 0f grades and a health to envy (touch wood) and I have an excess of expectations. Everyone expects me to perform, to raise the bar.

I have raised the bar.. the ‘up’ rising? I’ve raised it so high that I am struggling to get there. What if I don’t top this year? What if I fail at another relationship? What if i die? What if I shame my parents? I’ve raised it so high that now, it is difficult to fathom it’s reach. I’m trying to do as much as I can. I was made into something elusive when all I wanted was to just be a good daughter, a good friend, a good partner, a good student. No, I did not want stardom! No, I did not want to stand out. because now, people take my uprising for granted, to put it crudely.

I wanted to be a man, metaphorically. I was made into who I am. I love the way I am..
but,
Just let me close my eyes, and sleep, in peace. don’t expect. What if I fail to deliver? What if i screw up? What if I hurt you, again?
…what if?

Attreversiamo.

A lot has been happening and I have been away from my laptop for quite some time, er, days. Nevertheless, it is never too late. The only reason why I switched on that laptop of mine was to see a movie. Yes, I download from torrentz.eu but SO DO YOU, so don’t judge me! Make hay while the sun shines (read: download all you can before SOPA/ PIPA take over!)

Yes, so a movie. Which one? The Artist. If you haven’t heard of it yet then shameonyou. It’s a magnificient movie. To think of a silent film in this day and age is sheer audacity and to pull it off with such an ironic tale (of a talkie vs a silent film IN a silent film), is sheer brilliance. Both the leads have done a marvellous job at playing the characters of George, an old school hero who is full of himself and his talent, and that of Peppy Miller, a rising starlet with a mega crush on George and also, oodles of talent and that wretched beauty spot. The story isn’t ground breaking, it’s predictable if I may say so but it is HOW they narrate it and the medium that’s been chosen for the narration that sets this movie apart. Watch it for the sake of good cinema.
The Oscar went to a good movie. Just like last year (:

Attreversiamo means ‘Let us cross over’ in Italian. If you have read Eat Pray Love, you will know exactly why I’ve used this word as the title. It’s a transition period for me. I am ‘crossing over’ from someone who is a child to someone who was a child. I don’t know if it is good, bad or simply makes no difference. I am feeling emotions that I did not know I possessed. I have learnt to move on, and by moving on; I mean going on with life WITHOUT any bitterness in my heart for those who broke it. Yes, it still hurts me when people move away from me for no fault of my own. Yes, my soul ricochets into splithereens when somone close to me thinks it is time to leave me and move away from me just because ‘he thinks so’. Yes, I still cry but those tears are cold, measured. I know that I deserve better. Unless and until I have hurt someone, I don’t have the right to be played with. So there, I’m growing up.

I used to bear torrential hatred (can that be used?) towards someone. That someone, lies injured, physically in front of me right now. Instead of feeling victorious, I felt sorrow. I am a human being finally. Yes, I still hate him. Yes, I still pray that he realise what wrong he has done to me. But, I also pray for his health and I thank God for not ending his life. So there, I am growing up.

I used to be a people person. Don’t worry I still am but while talking to a *very* close friend last night, I realised that I don’t care how many people are around me. For all I care I might be in a crowd as big as those in an India Pakistan cricket match, but I will still feel lonely if I don’t find my kind of people there. I realised that I’d rather be alone than be with people who merely pretend to like me. That, I’d rather be lonely than compromise with my company. So there, am I growing up?

Everyone tells me that I have unreasonable demands off a guy. What is unreasonable to YOU is only just the bare minimum for me. Yes, I think that highly of myself and why shouldn’t I? My parents haven’t brought me up to be a timid girl. I’m allowed to love myself. For only if I love myself will I be capable of loving someone else. Don’t judge me.
Oh well, fine. Judge me..i don’t care. And even if I do care, I’ll cross over.

Attreversiamo