Fake this shit!

It has been a while since I last posted here. Have been busy. No, make that- very busy. third year of college started this October and I have finally entered The Clinics. I was super kicked about reaching this particular year, given that I am halfway through undergrad college and that means I am 50% through the ordeal called Barddhaman. and I was pleasantly surprised! I reached Burdwan on 1st and headed to college and waited for 30 minutes to greet my professor (what with all the ‘first impressions’ thing going on so strong these days) and I was informed about the Intra-college Sports tournament that was being organised.
My dad was in the Indian Army and I’ve had a fairly okay exposure to sports. By that, I mean i can move better than most girls and I mean that in the most innocent way possible. So, I signed up for Badminton (given that the other sports were Football and Carrom, neither of which I was sure of playing, I can shoot alright in Football but that’s about it). And I cleared the quarters and then reached the semis. Knocked out and I lost to the final winner so no pride lost.

Anyway, as Clinics duty proceeded in the day, the sports tournament moved forward after college. And I shouted A LOT while cheering for my batch. The usual ‘jeetega bhai jeetega’ and ‘ come ooooonnn!’, blah, and I cheered for the opponents as well O:)
I even wore track pants to college. Oh, and my work in the clinic was basically in the Prosthodontic Dept. and I made removable partial dentures for two patients. One has already been (successfully) delivered and the other is due on Wednesday. There is this fake sense of know-it-all while you are around patients…i say fake, because obviously I don not know it all, I am merely in third year. But you get to actually BE doctor after all the years of playing with plastic stethoscope and toy ambulances and this halo of importance and reverence surrounds you and you just, feel, important.

All the bitterness that was there last year, given the political influence on my baby college, I felt happy that we were all bonding and more importantly talking! Talking too is fake- it gives everyone a fake importance. ‘Oh, we talk’ ‘Oh, he spoke to me’. Just because we talk, it doesn’t mean we’re close. It just allows all of us to carry on with our lives without others feeling left out. People feel they’re close to you because you talk. WOAH! Huge epiphany! We’re all wonderful actors. No really, take a second and sit back. Think about all the times you have pretended to be something/someone you are not IN A DAY. And it is perfectly normal to pretend. We’re taught to perform in a particular manner from the day we learn to understand emotions and that is exactly what all of us do. We all act. we all pretend. We all put up with a farce.

So, how are we making the ones we love know what we really feel. To come to think of it, we need to be real sometimes! Shouldn’t we be able to be ‘who we are’ before the ones we care about at least? As for me, I don’t pretend before the ones I like/love. Strangely, I become even more blatant and point-blank and then I end up hurting them. Shaa.

ANNNNYWAY. There was also a DJ night in college following the Sports tournament which left all of us super-fit doctors with neck cramps and shoulder pain. I couldn’t move out of bed without an Ooooh-aaaah for four days in a row and I enjoyed every bit of that night and those ten days. It is good to be back with college ‘for real’ and even with all the aforementioned pretentious behaviour, I am happy. It is great to have stories to tell and jokes to share twenty years down the line. I hope this stays the way it is, or it may become better. 🙂

-stay loved. stay as true as possible!

Dude, we ARE free! So, Happy Independence Day.

15th August was India’s Independence day and I came across at least 7 (i did not count) posts asking if we are ‘actually‘ free. Every one questioned the existence of freedom in the true sense of the word. So, I googled the word and tried to answer (and justify) to myself that India, is in fact free and carries forth this message across to her inhabitants.
According to the Oxford dictionary, freedom is defined as the following:

  • the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants
  • the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved
  • (freedom from) the state of not being subject to or affected by (something undesirable)
  • archaic familiarity or openness in speech or behaviour

The country deserves to be respected for what has been tried. 65 years is young. I agree that we have a long, long way to go, but India, has provided for a lot of what we enjoy. We know how badly rotten the system gets in here because we ‘know‘ it. How many of us actually, truly, diligently follow world news? Unless there is a major scam or err, the Olympics, do we really care about how China, or USA are faring? No. Not until our money is involved in the economic meltdown that happened a few years ago. No. Not until our children were working in their nations and got laid-off.

So, no. It is not fair to compare the ‘freedom’ in our nation to that in theirs. A parent shouldn’t compare two siblings because however similar they are genetically, they are each different. Similarly, every country has its history and its unique set of issues and problems.
The American constitution was written in the year 1787 and they have the advantage of more than a century (i suck at math) to themselves!
So quit comparing ‘how fast the internet is’ in the two countries to judge how free WE are.
The political issues there are not even close to the number of issues we have, point noted. The number of political parties which actively participate are TWO. Just two. The number of people in the House are lesser. Whereas, in India, there are this many parties. I could not fit all the parties in ONE screenshot, so you can do the math without me having to actually go through the mammoth task of counting them out for you. I also agree, that this volume is no excuse to be corrupt. Of course it isn’t. Nothing can be an excuse to be corrupt and gobble the money paid by the citizens as taxes. But it also doesn’t state that we are un-free. We are! If this isn’t freedom then what is? If you have a cause, make your party and stand for it, contest elections, win and then, change the nation.

source: wiki

As for the corruption that everyone is SO constipated about. Don’t blame freedom for corruption. If people are dishonest and have questionable morals then what role does freedom has to play in it? It is our sad luck that we are taught the art of bribing. I see many of my friends bribe police officials to get out of traffic hassles and then I see the same friends write status updates on Facebook regarding the Anna hazare issue and voicing how strongly they feel about (or against) corruption. The change has to come from within. You cannot keep asking the same and incorrect questions year after year. Ask if this nation is honest, and there will be an answer in the negative, because ‘honestly’, no one is honest. Not in india and not abroad.
So if your quest is to live in a world free of dishonesty, cheating and liars then you my friend, desire a utopic world, cuz let’s be sensible and understand that this world is not going to happen. WHY? Because there is always a person who will cheat and lie and that ruins the entire cycle of honesty.

And then, let me come to the whole ‘rape’ ‘murder’ and crime point of freedom. According to statistics, 1 in 200 women in the United Kingdom have been raped at some point in their life. Remember, the population in India is far higher than out there, so the number WILL be higher. What is wrong in this country is the Justice system, which is slow. There, because of whatever reasons (efficient jurisdiction and laws?!) the processing seems to be quicker. I’ll need my lawyer friends to guide me through this, so I shall refrain from commenting on this further.
Now I stressed on the word ‘seem’ because I don’t know how fast or quick it really is. It is quicker than ours, especially if we take Kasab’s example! Again, women are allowed to wear what they want and wander on the streets when they want. What we need ‘freedom’ from is the constant fear of being raped. The solution to this problem is NOT running away to a foreign country and pretend like we have gotten away from everything that was possibly ‘wrong’. Men are there everywhere and so is crime. Face it. The chances may reduce but never diminish to an absolute zero. Click here to see how many women feel something similar to, or are actually raped every year in different countries. What needs to change is HOW we think. What needs to change is actually, a lot. But why question freedom?

I recently read an article about how a Hindu family was split in two fractions because their house was exactly at the Indo-Bangladesh border. And no, they were not allowed to stay together in the same nation. Most of the family which was in the West-Bengal region of the house slowly joined into the state. After 65 years, when the grandson went to visit his ‘siblings across the border’, he was astonished to find that they had all converted to Islam as they found it increasingly difficult to live in Bangladesh as hindus. Aside from Shiv Sena’s example in Maharashtra (which was highly criticised as it is), I haven’t heard of any such personal event of forced change of religion. If anything, the minority is placed at a pedestal in India, with all the reservations they get. I don’t wish to get into any of the debate encircling this topic, but hey they’re free here aren’t they?

[On a side note: As far as education abroad goes, yes the universities in certain countries feature in the world’s best whereas ours don’t even feature in the top 200. Agreed. But tell someone from Harvard that you’re from a university in India and they will look at you with an admiration that will make you glow. Trust me, because I have felt it myself.]

I have only touched upon some very basic and fundamental topics here. My aim was merely to tell all my extremely educated friends that questioning isn’t the way out of everything. I know, that joining the politics isn’t possible for everyone (it is not for me) and neither is changing the country possible single-handedly. Yes, maybe the roads abroad are cleaner, but by abroad do you mean just the USA and UK or do you also count Ethiopia as abroad? It is narrow, the way we think. India may not be as good as ‘them’ but we aren’t half as bad either. Give this lady a chance before you run off to a foreign nation on your folks’ money and earn in dollars. She will surprise you. Also, I request you to change your parameters of judgement. Don’t compare freedom by the success that we’ve achieved. Freedom is different. Freedom is when you’re allowed to be who you are and feel what you feel and say what you want to.
What everyone is asking for (non-spittable roads, non-urinated sidewalks, clean government and you-know-the-drift) requires a dictatorship and then, we’ll see how many want the ‘freedom’ back. Aha.

The biggest test of freedom is in the freedom to criticise

So is India free? Yes.
Are we free? Yes.

Don’t stop questioning. Just change your questions and strive for what YOU can do.

-love, stay tangled.

Happy Independence Day!

Sex.

Sex- the word was just to get your attention, now read what I have to say. 😛

pay taxes and get them Mis-Used.

Although I wasn’t really gone for long*, I missed the laptop. Oh, the things one gets used to on a vacation albeit for studying are disastrous once taken away.

This post isn’t about sex but about something related- Power.

Anyway, I’ll quit beating around the bush and come straight to the point. I returned from college (in Burdwan) today, in a State Transport bus. There was this VIP crossing  over from Calcutta and heading to some place. I would call it trespassing, but that would be wrong.
The bus had to halt in one tiny margin of the road and three-quarters of the road was left wide open AND VACANT for those 5 measly cars to whoosh past. We were stuck on that highway for at least 30 extra minutes. I know that it is a small price to pay, but what about all the ‘time is money’ philosophy we are fed with ever since we’re in grade school?

What has made these people the Very Important People they are? US! The aam junta or the mango people, as some celebrity had stated in some movie. (i think it was saif) And when they have to go to a district, in their white AC ambassadors; we the people, the ones who gave them that very power, have to sweat it out in the heat and then later apply Nycil on our prickly rashes. *hating it*
What justice and what a way to thank us. All for what? For giving us interviews on TV shows from which a certain-somebody can walk out just because s/he can.

Power is addictive. Power is maddening. Power gets to you and hits you harder than a kick with cocaine. But power without respect is the worst of its kind. One has to earn the respect and carry the onus of that power carefully and responsibly. Without proper judgement and without the correct balance between enjoying the perks and that of knowing the limits, one can fall off track with the heady initial hit. Today, while waiting for on the highway, all that I realised was that why should anyone be treated specially?
Yes ShahRukh Khan stood up for his daughter at Wankhade. So what?  I personally know of a handful of dads who do just that every single day. Just because he is the SRK, his life gets highlighted?
Just because someone became a CM doesn’t give her the rights to label other people as cadres of the opposition. I mean, yes it is a democracy if she can say what she wants to, can we not ASK what we want to? Everyone is so caught up with who raped whom in IPL, people forgot about the rest of country, let alone the world.

I agree, the ones we vote for have the very important duty of running the administration of our state/ country and they should be given their due importance but not at the cost of the public’s time, money and sweat (literally). Our parents pay the taxes and the government makes Birth Anniversary advertisements for legends. they are already legends, pay homage to them in front of their monuments, which have already been built out of the taxes WE pay or will pay. Instead of blowing OUR money into painting stuff blue, why doesn’t the government just say that it is in its manic phase of neurotics and we, the people, will accept it like we accept all Bipolar. Right?

I digressed. Power. Evil power and good power. We all know who wins in the end but isn’t there a sick sense of pleasure in being the bad guy? Haven’t you ever hurt someone purposely, just to get a kick out of it? I have. And I’m not proud of it..but it was good while it lasted.

Even the cases of Rape and sexual abuse that we so lovingly gulped down in the last two weeks of the Show Satyamev Jayate, are an example of gender Powerplay. males are stronger, more powerful than Females. Yeah, right. And the apes evoleved from human beings.


Power is always handed over but respect is always earned, never passed down. Aim for the latter and the former will follow through.

And i just remembered a joke.
Masochist: Hurt me.
Sadist: No!

Who has power now, eh?

Hell Yeah!

You know how there are times where something comes at you, out of the blue…something desirable, something that you might have wanted but never knew that you wanted, and then you take your hand out to grab it and then hesitate. You think; do you really need it or is it just an added way to kill time? So you retract your hand just for a microsecond and the opportunity whooshes past just when you realize that you REALLY wanted that thing and now it’s gone forever- never to return and never to be yours. Has this happened to you? We take so many things for granted. Rather, we take the ‘absence’ of so many things for granted that we never truly appreciate how much we would like for it to be a part of our lives. I missed two beautiful opportunities in the same day. And I know how fucking much it pains to have lost something you know could be yours.

Lets start with this- While it was raining, I decided that I wanted to capture the lightning on my camera. So I stood at the window sill, holding my camera with it in the burst mode, ISO and aperture all set perfectly and I started pointing and shooting, hoping that it strikes within the frame. My aim was perfect. The only thing that wasn’t correct was my drifting mind. I kept guessing where it would strike next and I got almost perfect at it. I let the camera off for one second to think about how I would go prancing to Mamma to show the picture and voila, the damn lightening went off at that very moment and stayed for at least 2 seconds. Why? My camera was ready, the positioning was right. One second and I lost it. And I’ll never get that back. I breathed in, uttered a few curses and started shooting again. This time, it struck and I was ready but it stayed for too little a time and I couldn’t capture it. I lost it. Again. And I was heart-broken. And I felt like a moron.

This is downloaded :/

Then about the boyfriend I gave up a few years ago. No, I am not a cry-baby. This wretched weather is making me think about my ex. So. Yeah he was handsome and intelligent and rich. Yes, we had good times but he kept getting on my nerves. One day, we broke it off. Y’know just, out of the blue. The ‘I don’t think it is working anymore’ kind and he, like an idiot, agreed and that was the end of it. I was fine till I actually lay back on my bed and thought hard about it that night. What the fuck had I done? I wasn’t done with him in my life. I wanted him back in my life. What the heck did I mean by ‘it is not working’? Of course it won’t work if I’m not willing to make it. I wanted him back right at that moment but I was too late and too full of the ever-famous ego. I never called him to tell him how much I craved for him and he never felt the need to ask me. I waited that night. I still wait, sometimes.

Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse-
My mother’s aunt called up to ask if I was willing to go to the KKR v/s PWI match in club-house with her. Just so you know, Sunday is the day my childhood friend is coming to visit me after almost 5 years and I THOUGHT 5TH MAY WAS A SUNDAY, so I denied albeit with a heavy heart. My mum conveyed the message.

AFTER hanging up, my mum and the genius that I am, figured that 5th is Not a Sunday and that I was, in fact free and totally available. So I called up my grandma (mum’s aunt) but by then she had already said no to the sponsor for the passes (her husband is at a very high post) and so I lost my ticket to my first ever IPL match and my first ever match as a whole and possibly my only chance to watch a match in the club house.

I hated my life. I hated how I choose to lose out on opportunities which are practically handed out to me.

Life says: ye lo beta, enjoy..I say No thank you ji. Ugh! But things weren’t going to be that bad after all. My monididu worked some magic (she probably felt bad for me) and arranged for those passes again and I am going to that match now. Hellyeah!

And in between the time that I thought I wasn’t going to that match and where I learnt that I was, I was a major sulk. I couldn’t study. Hell I dint even feel like clicking pictures. I wasn’t talking to mum properly, trying to figure out a way to blame her for the entire thing in my head. And then, as soon as I got the confirmatory call, I changed. Like totally completely 180 degrees changed! I was blurting out college gossip to mum in absolutely no time.
I don’t know why my mood changed. I’m not even a fan of IPL. So then that got me thinking and I realized that we value stuff much lesser than they actually should be valued. I know I know, I’m not going to get all Dr. Phil now. I’ll just sum up everything (mostly because I have exams and need to study. All this excitement and mood swinging has taken up wayyy too much time today)- Don’t get upset over lost opportunities. One day, you will buy your own club house passes and the day that happens, you will get the best feeling you will ever have.

So that’s how my sad day turned awesome!

Adios. Stay there.

The IPL plea.

On April 4th, most of India was glued to their television sets, tuned into a channel rarely watched otherwise by sensible people, to watch something that has become an annual ritual. The IPL was here. The Indian Premier League. *imagine the blow horn, er, blowing*
I wasn’t an exception. Despite being in college, which by the way, is located in a place which qualifies as a town, I went to a restaurant and watch the likes of Priyanka, Kareena and Kate perry sing dance and frolic to. I was expecting a match, but sigh, I always expect unfeasible things off the Indian junta.

I had to support  KKR by default. I used to watch each match with bated breath. Even as they lost the first two matches, I continued my support. then they won and lost and dragged along. Then they climbed up to the top 4 and I relaxed.

Dekho SRK. Hum jeet sakte hai!

So this friend of mine asked me if I’m watching the match and I flipped. I had stopped following the IPL! The unthinkable had happened.  I am at home and I have a television set, in all its Plasma glory waiting to be switched on and I wasn’t watching the match!! I was free! Free off the onus of knowing every score of every match with every detail about Orange caps and super sixes. I was free from 4 in the evening till 12 at night to do what I pleased. The IPL fever was gone. Woohoo! Freedom, Glory!!

And ^this was how I felt.

The IPL was a success, and it should be. It has captured the attention of the masses in the most cunning method possible.

  • It’s got cricket which is GOD in India, hell yeah! I mean, people keep themselves free, take sick leave from work to sit at home and watch those matches.
  • Since the Indian public is raving mad about it’s celebrities, Lalit Modi devised the best way to ensure packed stadiums- get celebs into the arena and voila! the people are peering backwards at the owner (read SRK, Zinta) rather than the match. But that was the story of the first few seasons. This year, at least my friends are less excited about him and more about KKR. What an achievement!
  • We all know how short our attention span is. at most it is, what 20-30 seconds? And the shortest an IPL match could get is 5 overs, right? What more do you want- from twenty-twenty you go right ZAP down to paanch-paanch. Reminds me of hide and seek aka chhuppan chhuppai. Dhappa!
  • And with such a short format, no one will be able to spot a rigged match! So everybody wins and everybody is happy. (though a fixed match isn’t all that hard to guess)
  • IPL gives the perfect excuse to hang with friends, cheap too- 500 to 750 at the max and you have atleast five hours of guaranteed fun irrespective of which team wins.
  • Cheerleaders! The perfect food for the desparates in us. Only if they aren’t the apsaras of my home team, though. They look like a cross between a terribly suffocated woman and a brinjal.

  • Finally, IPL has cricket. Oh, I said that already 😛

And why do I not watch it anymore?
Because it is boring after a point and I have work. Also, because Only the finals really matter. I wonder who won today’s match though…