Choices have to be paid for

There is a price I have to pay for the choice of my career is that I find it impossibly difficult (and expensive) to go abroad, for education or work which is one and the same thing for me. To go to any country, I’ll have to go and repeat a part of my curriculum which completely negates my work in the home country. Besides, india needs me more, right? Yes, the US has a better life (better being a relative term) and the UK has the best life. And Naples has better food, and Germany has better cars, roads and basically everything is greener on the other side of the border but why should I have to pay for this decision with my heart? Every person I’ve liked, be it my best friend, a fellow I met a few months ago who’s turned out to be one of my closest, my crush or my romantic interest… everyone is going abroad. This leaves me in a very peculiar fix. I can blame this on the stars and call it a typical Piscean trait. I’ve forever been torn between what’s practical and what I want. It has never been both, and I’m using the word never liberally here. Doctor vs creative profession. India vs abroad. Staying at home vs staying away.

I’m tired of losing people in the proximity terms because I choose to stay back. This decision is fairly certain because more than anything, it takes a lot financially and i refuse to pay another country revenue to make me a citizen. The only country I’d go to is Denmark, and I see no way of that happening.

I’m tired of having to choose someone to like based on where they’ll be five years from now. I’m tired of Skype calls and viber. I’m tired of the Internet encroaching on my friendships, and social media replacing heart to hearts, because “OH yes it popped up on my news feed and I liked it.”

I hate a dilemma.


14 thoughts on “Choices have to be paid for

  1. Choice can be expensive. But some people don’t have the choice, likely because they might not be able to afford it. But yes I am familiar with the dilemma you’re talking about. I too want to study abroad and am going through the difficult time of making the choice. I can choose to stay where I am and continue with my life which, luckily for me, is on track to what I want to be; or I can move abroad, start from scratch with 50/50 chance of achieving something even greater or losing it altogether.

    Dilemma? Tell me about it.

      • That’s an answer that lies in the future. I spent literally a year in this dilemma and I’m still nowhere near a decision. Worst of all, you won’t find anyone who can help you in this regard. Yes they can show you the ups and downs, but you already know the ups and downs. It has to be you who has to make the ultimate decision.

        One thing that I’ve been thinking about lately is that if I don’t take the risk now, what if 20 years later I regret? I mean, you can’t help but wonder how your life would have turned out if you had taken the alternative route. That’s making me think, perhaps the risk is worth it. After all, I don’t hate anything more than regret, which I’ve had plenty so far.

  2. I think of it like this: we were born here. (Obviously)
    If we go to another country, we get a chance to start again. Live on our own, actually on our *own* with no relatives or ‘family problems’ bugging us.
    Just you and your career!
    But I guess that’s for extreme career oriented people.

    • Going to another country does not mean cutting yourself off from the ones you love and have always known! Come on. My family and parents don’t bug me (yet) and I’m sure if I go abroad I’ll make friends and have a new and different set of problems there. It’s not like I want to run away from India, you know what I mean?

  3. yes. making is choice is a choice, sometimes not entirely up to you. we all hate dilemmas and would just let it be the way it is, until you HAVE to make a choice. and whatever it is that you choose, you pay- very dearly- sometimes you don’t even know the cost of that decision.

    And sometimes… you pay for choices that others make, for you. Like I did. Extinction- my fate.

  4. nope. women survive. everything.
    its usually food and women, that we fight for, no?

    appreciation for word play!? really? to go back to the caves. have a pleasant evening lovely lady : )

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