I’ve been sitting at my desk for the past half hour staring at two lizards. What these two, possibly mother and child, were doing was quite simple: Staring right back. They weren’t staring at me, (obviously, cause that would be downright creepy) but at these tiny insects which swarm into my room every evening. I have a problem with dark/ dim rooms and therefore have two huge tubes glowing since. Come monsoon, and my room becomes a perfect ecosystem, complete with moths, lizards, insects and sometimes, wasps and dragon flies too.
I usually don’t put on the AC because the weather is charming and I believe that I can make a single handed contribution to reducing my home’s carbon footprint (yes, okay?)
Anyway, Lizzie (the lizard) has finally caught hold of the moth. (wow, this is like a live feed!) and the moth is trying to flutter away. It fights gallantly and manages to fly out. I notice that Lizzie is chewing on something and conclude that it must be a part of Moth’s wing. Would Moth survive? My house is eight floors above the ground and with a half- eaten wing, Moth doesn’t really stand a great chance of surviving the fall. Fall/glide/ suicide?
Would you rather be eaten alive or free fall to your death? I would free fall. There’s a certain sense of time that is given to you, you know? While gliding down, although with a tachycardic heart beat and wind gushing around your eyes and face making it mighty difficult for you to breathe, you still get SOME time to thing of the few things and people you j’adore.
If you’re being eaten up, well, all you’ll do is fight to not get eaten, thus, wont get the time to think. The instinct to survive over-takes the instinct to accept. When you’re falling, you KNOW you’ll not survive but when you’re being swallowed up, there might just be a chance. Hmm, now in hindsight, being eaten doesn’t sound as bad, since the possibility to live is slightly higher. Boy, am I confused, or what?
News just in:
Moth flew back into my room. Talk about coming a full circle, eh? Moth flew around in circles, again, this time within my room and hit the ceiling fan and fell to it’s death. I mean, seriously?
I conclude that Moth here, had some psychiatric issue. It really needed to die. The half eaten wing surely wasn’t helping it’s ability to navigate within my brilliantly lit room. Then again, how did it reach this high up, anyway? There are always questions which will never have answers, this is one of those life altering (hey, it is!) questions. SIGH.
How dos it feel, to be a moth trapped within a chandelier? So many options but you woudln’t know where to fly.
(An excerpt from Bridge Across Forever, a book)