Correctly said: Ew.
Why can’t you be happy and not make a big deal out of it. You don’t speak to me for days and then after I ask you, you send a ‘hey’ and then call a day after at 12am to ‘talk’. Why? Cause it is your holiday. Oh ho, I forgot.. your holiday means my holiday. Such a happy world it would be. If only…
I stay up till 2, talking to you over the phone, because lets face it- every time I would want to hang up you would try and act cute and not let me. Finally, I sleep at 2.30am after brushing my teeth and straightening my hair. And then, I wake up at 5 am and head straight to college… why? Cause it is NOT a happy world and your holiday is not my holiday and your moods are not synced with mine. Sadly, I am an obstinate, stubborn, headstrong, ass of a person who currently places her academic and personal needs above all else. The primary reason for me to not have many friends or a boyfriend or any major personal relationship or even try to do so, is this. The last year and the following one and half are solely dedicated to initially academics and then, to myself.
I need my peace of mind to be mine. I can not have another person rob me off it just because she or he can do so. I do not give anyone that power, not right now. Having someone hurt or angered because of these decisions of mine irritate me and rob me of that peace of mind because I do not like having someone pissed at me, it unsettles me. So, right now… I’m going to be all zen and not let it get to me. Thus, the writing. Catharsis.
Time to sleep cause we don’t want to stay up too late, do we?