To Describe Her…

Ashes and sparks, my words among mankind.

”   …. to describe her was to describe water. 

She could be a loving, calming presence, her caresses like that of softly flowing water…. or she could be cold, yet vulnerable, and strikingly beautiful for it, much like a snowflake…. and in her rage, she was a iceberg, hard and unforgiving. 

In all her ways though, she was captivating, alluring, always pulling me away with the current.

Yet, there was a sorrow in her, a sorrow that stemmed from parts of her being in constant conflict with the rest. To look at her was to look at wave upon high wave breaking against an iceberg, a huge monolith of ice, and then dispersing into a thousand million little droplets that formed the spray, each minuscule orb of moisture hanging momentarily in the air, beautiful, yet so ephemeral, doomed to lose its identity as a droplet in seconds, as it is…

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Today, I am choosing happiness.

Some people love a motive. A target to fulfil often keeps a lot of people alive and kicking. A reason to talk, a cause to help, a limit to reach, an audience to share with; these make a tonne of us feel more secure. It’s like we have something to do at the end of each day. The latest craze is the #100happydays thing on instagram.
I find the idea absurd. I feel it’s rather alright to have a few blue days. In fact, being gloomy is, at times, helpful. Blues make me introspect and think. When I’m grumpy, I work better. All the smiles and giddiness, joy and tickles make me feel complete, and therefore saturated, and ultimately complete…so, the need to work (or reach a target) doesn’t even occur to my happy-high mind.

A majority of my close friends are a party to this online frenzy. To be honest,  I had contemplated participating as well but I found it to be an enormous chore. It’s too much of work. And isn’t happiness supposed to be effortless? So I have stayed away from it. Till now.

I am happy yo!” That’s all it takes to feel happy from within. There need not be a reason, or a photograph to justify it. Even after a particularly crappy day, possibly peppered by an argument or two, and then garnished by crowshit on your shampoo-fragranced hair, you could smile after crawling under your blanky and feel content and happy. Would you reaaaally want to crawl out and click a selfie to keep a memory of it, if not to share to the world of online media then, for yourself? (The website #100happydays gives an option to keep the images private as well)
I mean, I’d remember that warmth even without a picture. *insert comfy red cheek smiley*

We all have a compulsion to register everything. Even I do, I wouldn’t lie. Pictures Photographs Polaroids.
Always clickclickclick editeditedit uploaduploadupload likelikelike commentcommentcomment. However, I’m trying to overcome the urges, except for when I dress up. Then, of course I’d want photographs (I am a girl afterall…)

I’m working on staying away from my phone. I’m working on staying away from people in general. Somehow conversations which are too long, pointless and mundane make me feel as if I am wasting too much of the tiny amount of time I’ve been given. There’s a lot to do and so so SO little time!

For now, I feel happy. There is no reason for happiness. You could assume that a lot of things are making me feel positive or that, there is actually nothing specific that is making me smile, or that I’m a really pleased victim of substance abuse : P (not)

Smile. Everyday is day 001 of your 100 days and remember that.