Everyone I know is shifting to the Western world. West of where I live, West of the hemisphere. Everything is going west and I think it all began with the Tatas shifting to Gujarat from West Bengal! Everyone is moving either to the west of the nation, or to the ‘western’ world, and by that I mean The Posh (forgive my sterotyping) Nations; USA, UK, the shizz. I want to move as well, to a land with more work and less talk. Till the time my life moves ahead of the under graduate level, I will not be able to take any personal decisions. Decisions which girls my age take with ease; I like him, let’s date him OR Wow, I want to go out and I will because I don’t have any parental supervision. Haha, kidding. But what I wanted to clarify is that, till life makes a decision for me and shows me the city that I will be in, after the graduation from the current college, my life is staccato.
I have met some wonderful, truly knowledgable and, how should I put it?, magnetic people through my blog. I have even had the pleasure of meeting a few of them and it is beautiful, what similar minds can do when they are put together. I long to find that similarity with a mind, in a place where it is not a hassle to meet him/her, where meeting someone would no longer raise eyebrows, is something I yearn for. They say, ‘two more years, Zeph and then you can meet the people you want to…’, but I have been listening to that ruse ever since I was in school. Get done with school, and then you can live the way you want, of course, there will be supervision but there will be more permission. Ge done with college and then during your Masters, I’m sure you’ll be better off. It is not the sitting and yapping with friends that I like, it is the birth of ideas with like-minded people who drive me towards conversations. And conversations only happen when one can make time.
Right now, I will curl up under a blanket and read Kafka on the Shore, by Murakami and drift into a world of make-belief and feel as if I am inside a cocoon. while I’m inside the book, I feel ensconced and happy, every time I shut the book for the day and glance to my side or look around, I see the city, the beautiful city and beg for it to let me go. I beg for it to let me go West and to not let my mind go to waste. I am academically proficient, but I want to be holistic. And for that, I need time and freedom and space. And I need it to make sure the other, more creative lobes, of the cerebral hemisphere remain active, and hope that they do not atrophy.
Here’s to one more night of reading, one less night in the city, one more dawn and another day.
Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers.