Foetal wax.

There is so much potential within us. When we are all 2-4-8-16 celled, deep within the womb, we can divide and differentiate into so many things, so many different people. Grow a limb here, grow some hair their, oops! look I grew a liver and a heart, And then we grow a brain with its neurons and all the intricacies of being human. 
In class today, my professor pointed out how some of the histological sections we look at (in our books, of course) . Apparently, the foetal cells are dipped in some sort of wax to stop the growth and then, cross sections are made. Thus, the name of this post Foetal Wax.

When we were tiny, and by tiny I mean a few cells old, we had our entire life in front of us. We could be good people or we could be wolves (which some men did turn out to be, but I digress). Hell, we could even be the girl who knew 15 languages in her head but was deaf and dumb so the world could never know of her talent.

But then, we divided.. and multiplied, and while the cells rapidly grew in number; we kept becoming more complex as creatures. Complex in ways that are more twisted than biology. We began dreaming and then we had to face the pain of that lost dream. You must have realised, more often than not, we try to go back to sleep to finish a dream and we try to pretend so hard, that the world we have for those few measly minutes could in fact, be the world we actually live, bleed and perspire in. Then the zygote becomes a baby, with a brain that functions as fittingly as a ticking time bomb, and we begin to rationalise… ‘No, I can not dance, I have two feet”, “No, that can not be love, he is a gentleman”, “No, I am a horrible person, I let her live”.

We slowly, yet persistently lose hope in what surrounds us. We begin thinking. We start forming logical thoughts which ultimately lead us to a very crisp reality, which let us face it, is not very pretty most of the times. Even when viewed through tinted glass, the world does tend to let us down at times (er, most of the times?) Right now, you have dreams which you despartately want to fulfil but if we rewind 15 years back, you had more dreams; and more colourful ones at that. No one told me that you that could not become a professinal dancer, no one said that you don’t have it you…you brought that upon yourself. YOU rationalised. “This makes more sense, become a Lawyer.” I’m sure all of you had dreams. I once wanted to go into research- genetic engineering, but I took the apparently easier available option and kept writing, photography and everything else as a ‘hobby’. How I hate hobbies- oh beta, you need a degree, what will you feed your kids, photography can always be a hobby. oh beta, you need to be a engineer, or else who will marry you? blah blah.

As cells, we have immense potential. As cells, the world is our canvas. As cells, we are merely a human being in-the-making, but the neurons and the logics that I spoke of earlier, make us who we are right now, in this very moment. We are born optimists and therefore are innately positive, but the repeated the break-downs, heart-aches and failures thicken us. As my professor stated, keratinisation. We become a pale afterglow of what we could have been. The could-be and the should-be, life kinda revolves around all that, eh?

I hope this helped you reminisce. I hope you dig out the dusty bag with all your paint brushes and do something with it, or maybe, find a new self? I hope you can be the cell you once were and the person you could have been.

to end on a lighter note, Image

India Against Rape.

CNN-IBN reports from Lady Sriram College, Delhi about issues surrounding rapes, sexual assault, violence, institutionalised violence and a lot more.
Brownie points: My best friend features in the report.

Recently, a 5 year old girl was raped and left to die in India. No revealing clothes, no alcohol involoved; WHY then? A lot has been written and a lot has been heard. Is it all about domination and a sense of sickening powerplay?
“Main mard hu” : This psyche needs to be broken. Tu insaan hai..
(“I am a man; NO, you are a human being”)


There is going to be a meteor shower in about 30 minutes from now (best viewed from 3am till 5am).
The Lyrid Meteor shower. I found the name quite, er, lucid.
Have you ever seen someone dance, gracefully, to a sound yo cant hear? For instance, when a belle dancer practices with head phones on and all you can focus on are the movements, and you just begin to tap a beat or hum a song? That is how Lyrid sounds to me- stars dancing to a whoosh of my own 🙂

However, due to the evils of mankind and the necessity of invention (i do not mean mothers), the sky is too cloudy and the city air is to polluted, to let me view this beauty. Therefore, I sulk and type this monologue while the rest of you might be able to see what I can not.
I wish, I had a car which I could take out in the dead of the night and drive far into the highway horizon, and sit on the hood while nature did its shizz and flew stars across my sky. I’d click a few pictures, be unsuccessful at it. Sip from the bottle of chilled beer I had carefully packed while Floyd strummed ‘Coming Back To Life’. AH! Imagination can be a wicked virtue of one knows not how to make it real.
I wish, I so badly wish that I was just a tad bit older (or, maybe jut away from the formality of asking for permissions!~ Indian parents!)


I wishes were horses, I’d ride the shit out of them.

-fill me in with your adventures. stay tangled!

A girl’s love affair.

She held her breath for as long as she could. Even then, the smell of alcohol did not vanish. It kept lingering in her room, days after the party was over. She felt nauseous again. What the heck had she done last week? Why had she done that? She could still feel her lips. HER lips. The bottle of tequila lay half empty with cigarette butts and ash in it. She kicked it hard and hurt her toe. She dialled her number and waited for it to ring…

That’s about it. Goodbye now. Go sleep.


Every one must laugh. Laughter is one of the most beautiful expressions of what you are, or could-be feeling and the best part about laughing is that no-one has ever taught anyone to laugh. It is something that is inherent.
But with time, we lose the ability to laugh freely. We hold it in, for fear of being judged, for hesitation creeps in, because we learn manners and finally, because we begin to think.

A few days ago, a few of us friends got together and we started cracking very unsuitable jokes at the fattest friend’s expense. She is used to it, being the butt of most of our jokes and she laughed along with us. She could’ve easily felt bad and taken it all in the wrong stance, but she didn’t. She had nurtured the ability to laugh at herself. She knew that we all loved her, no matter what and she laughed.. and boy! did she look beautiful while doing that. I admire her ability to take it in her stride and what she says is very true- Jo sach hai, toh woh toh dikhega hi na. (the truth can’t be hidden, can it?) the ‘sach‘ being her belly fat!



A few days later, I got together with a different friend group and yet again, someone became a butt of the jokes. This time, we weren’t laughing at the expense of her weight but at her sense of geography. Rome was the capital of Argentina and Greece was a city near Venice! She was innocently hilarious and we laughed with tears in our eyes. And then, the one we were laughing at became all serious and said ‘Why are you always laughing at me?’. And all of us shut up and did not laugh any more. This wasn’t the first time we had to shut up cause she didn’t like it. What she always failed to understand was we never laughed AT her..we only wanted to laugh and we never intended to it at her expense. it would’ve been someone else, if nopt her and that time, she too would be laughing! And she would have enjoyed too, had she taken it in the right spirit. It isn’t like she doesn’t laugh at the shortcomings of others, not in a condescending way of course, but y’know how it is when a large group of friends get together, right? No one means harm!

If you know how to laugh at yourself, you’ll have to worry much lesser and have lesser ego issues too. Someone said something about the way look and you dint like it? say ‘thaank you man!’ and give a big smile. Somebody pulled a fast one on you? say ‘good one, I’ll try it on someone soon!’

And if you can’t take it in the right way, at least learn to deal with your ignorance if that is what people are laughing at. Read, research and the next time, be ready with an answer, instead of being a sour puss. And if everyone laughs at how fat you are, figure out their tics and joke with them (in case you are too lazy to exercise, like me!)! There is ALWAYS another way. 🙂


-stay tangled! keep laughing!