Fake this shit!

It has been a while since I last posted here. Have been busy. No, make that- very busy. third year of college started this October and I have finally entered The Clinics. I was super kicked about reaching this particular year, given that I am halfway through undergrad college and that means I am 50% through the ordeal called Barddhaman. and I was pleasantly surprised! I reached Burdwan on 1st and headed to college and waited for 30 minutes to greet my professor (what with all the ‘first impressions’ thing going on so strong these days) and I was informed about the Intra-college Sports tournament that was being organised.
My dad was in the Indian Army and I’ve had a fairly okay exposure to sports. By that, I mean i can move better than most girls and I mean that in the most innocent way possible. So, I signed up for Badminton (given that the other sports were Football and Carrom, neither of which I was sure of playing, I can shoot alright in Football but that’s about it). And I cleared the quarters and then reached the semis. Knocked out and I lost to the final winner so no pride lost.

Anyway, as Clinics duty proceeded in the day, the sports tournament moved forward after college. And I shouted A LOT while cheering for my batch. The usual ‘jeetega bhai jeetega’ and ‘ come ooooonnn!’, blah, and I cheered for the opponents as well O:)
I even wore track pants to college. Oh, and my work in the clinic was basically in the Prosthodontic Dept. and I made removable partial dentures for two patients. One has already been (successfully) delivered and the other is due on Wednesday. There is this fake sense of know-it-all while you are around patients…i say fake, because obviously I don not know it all, I am merely in third year. But you get to actually BE doctor after all the years of playing with plastic stethoscope and toy ambulances and this halo of importance and reverence surrounds you and you just, feel, important.

All the bitterness that was there last year, given the political influence on my baby college, I felt happy that we were all bonding and more importantly talking! Talking too is fake- it gives everyone a fake importance. ‘Oh, we talk’ ‘Oh, he spoke to me’. Just because we talk, it doesn’t mean we’re close. It just allows all of us to carry on with our lives without others feeling left out. People feel they’re close to you because you talk. WOAH! Huge epiphany! We’re all wonderful actors. No really, take a second and sit back. Think about all the times you have pretended to be something/someone you are not IN A DAY. And it is perfectly normal to pretend. We’re taught to perform in a particular manner from the day we learn to understand emotions and that is exactly what all of us do. We all act. we all pretend. We all put up with a farce.

So, how are we making the ones we love know what we really feel. To come to think of it, we need to be real sometimes! Shouldn’t we be able to be ‘who we are’ before the ones we care about at least? As for me, I don’t pretend before the ones I like/love. Strangely, I become even more blatant and point-blank and then I end up hurting them. Shaa.

ANNNNYWAY. There was also a DJ night in college following the Sports tournament which left all of us super-fit doctors with neck cramps and shoulder pain. I couldn’t move out of bed without an Ooooh-aaaah for four days in a row and I enjoyed every bit of that night and those ten days. It is good to be back with college ‘for real’ and even with all the aforementioned pretentious behaviour, I am happy. It is great to have stories to tell and jokes to share twenty years down the line. I hope this stays the way it is, or it may become better. 🙂

-stay loved. stay as true as possible!

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