This is what makes college happy!

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These two idiots are my newest found loves and the wretched college remains bearable because of them. One makes me tear my hair off my head (the guy, obviously) and the other one is my sweetheart, my roomie. Today we had planned a surprise birthday outing for her and it was fun to see her expression change from horror to bewilderment to sheer joy. And then to see her face painted with chocolate cake! It was her first ever surprise birthday thingy and my first ever plan. So happy that it turned out well 🙂 -stay happy!

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Lifetime warranty wali friendship!

I am not going to copy and paste random quotes and one liners from social networking sites. For that, find yourself a suitable facebook page or Twitter handle and read to your hearts content. 🙂

I do not wish to label the various kinds of friendship. There is just one kind- you’re either my friend or you’re not. Or you’re my best friend but that’s a different story altogether. Some friendships fall into a category that is actually no category. You can’t do without some but there are long stretches of time where life keeps you apart. Things happen, you learn to cry on their shoulder and then you learn to be strong when they’re not around.

But some friendships are real. They break through the boundaries of nations and time and space and distance and pierce through the facade of the virtual world and actually build a connection that becomes tangible. These friendships are the ones that last a life time. Friendship never ends and neither do people deliberately lose contact. It is just a way of life. But the friendship that I just described, the one with a heart to heart telepathy, is not the kind where not talking for 5 months at a stretch equals the end. A new chapter, maybe. A new book, perhaps. But the same characters and the same happy life!

I have been blessed with a few such friends and one of them has just returned to India. She is back and the virtual connection might just finally translate into a tangible one probably after 3 years! And we’ve managed to go through life’s ups and downs, together yet a thousand breaths away. I could smother her with hugs if I saw her right now and this is to welcome her back to reading my blog 🙂

And I have this other guy friend who has a complicated past with me but we’ve worked over our differences and similarities and brewed a sound base for a relationship that transgressed borders of love and friendship.
Not just with him, but also with Sneha, I feel at home. I can be a baby most of the times with them teaching me right from wrong and I become mature when the need arises.

These friendships are the ones which last an eternity and these are the ones where when you meet after yeaaaaaars when you’re 60, you can laugh like you’re 16! And I treasure these. Because rather than being superfluous and asking me How I am, they’d directly know it and ask me Why. They won’t judge me. The very prominent rules of friendship don’t apply here. I’m not called a bitch or a bro when they’re calling out to me. This kind of friendship is the kind which has the healthiest balance of space and privacy. Of you and me. Of us. 🙂

They know who I was. They embrace who I am. And they support who I will become. And I do the same to them..for them.

Welcome back!

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Because Pooh bear is adorable!

-tangled.

Don’t. Stop. Believing.

Oh look! One maina is flying by.
Shoot. Doesnt it mean bad luck?
Quick. Spit on me. Or maybe flick your fingers in a way that the bad luck reflects off of me and hits some other person.

That was me when I was in class 6. We’ve had so many superstitions. Black cat crossing your path signifies bad omen. Two mainas in one sighting equals good luck. A leaf drifting down on you from a tree shows that something new will happen to you. There are so many positives and negatives that motivate or hinder us from doing what we want to.

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Don’t run. Dont let people stop you. Don’t let you stop you.

As time passes, we grow up. And we mature to an extent to believe that a leaf or a bird will not have significant effects on how we deal with life or what actually happens. I just saw one bird hopping across the window sill and I dint budge. I just reminisced the minutes I had spent on the sidewalk beside school with my friends making them do weird stuff to make the bad luck go away. I still smile when a leaf falls on me, but I know that it is nothing but a coincidence. I understand now, that good and bad happen as a result of my deeds and my actions..not because of a third force. Certainly not because of a bird!

We begin to lose faith. We begin to act and think practically. We stop being afraid of bees when they enter the room. We stop picking up flowers from the road. We stop believing.
The innocence of childhood, the quiet joy that we felt when a good omen happened around us, vanishes and slowly, life takes over and a metamorphosis begins. We mold an old, soft skin to grow a skin that is hard, toughened and weathered by incidents that force us to stop expecting good or bad things. We stop looking for signs. And signals. We stop looking as a whole and live our lives like machines stuck in a routine.

Don’t!

Stop and smell the flowers. Act crazy when you see a bird. Be happy when it rains and feel scared of a black cat crosses your path. Dont over do it. But don’t stop believing.

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The progression catalyst.

First of all im terribly sorry for being a lazy dufus and not publishing anything for the last few days (or week). Im appearing for my second year finals and till now they are turning out to be just fine. One more theory paper to go and six practicals. I shall be free and yours, by 11th 😀

A few days ago a friend of mine and I were randomly chatting about life and about things this and that. He is a blogger too and I met him via this blog itself. He had some issues and I merely quoted something philosophical, albiet sensible, to him. I didn’t know it was that profound when I said it. I had just stated the obvious.
Yknow how something just strikes a chord within? Especially when a stranger who doesn’t know you, says it? I think that’s what happened to him and he kinda got over his inhibitions. Its easy to be a stranger because their is no judgement involved.

This isn’t the first time this has happened with me. I’ve often acted as a catalyst in the lives of many of my friends. Sometimes, it is just that extra nudge that you need to put sense into your head. You know what is right, you just need a guide with you, to hold your hand through it.
Be it sending my best friend to Lady Shri Ram Delhi and changing her life for good, or helping a very good friend get into her preferred stream in college or making someone realise that dental isn’t as bad as people make it look, I have changed each of their lives in some way.

And I haven’t done it with any motive. I just want this place to be filled with better people.

In life, we often times look for inspiriation and tend to find it in the most unexpected of places with the most unexpected people. And it is pleasant, to see and learn that your problem isn’t as great as you think it to be.

Recently, I have been fretting about this one girl in college who seems to threaten my rank. Yes, I am very competitive. I kept talking about plans to harm her and kill her and whatnot just to calm myself down. Kidding. My room mate thought I was growing paranoid. I wasn’t. I was merely being protective. I was trying to justify to myself that she isn’t as good as I am. But that’s where I went wrong. I shouldn’t have tried to justify that. Because by doing so I’m putting her down while I remained stagnant.

Then it hit me. She is good. Very good. But I am better. And thus, I raised myself and my potential. And now, it doesn’t matter. Because I strive for progress, not perfection.

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I strive to grow, alone and strong and not put others down. Underestimating is the key to failure. One mustnt underestimate the self or the others. Grow. Grow till you can feel the cells dividing. Grow so much and be so fierce in your growth that you know for sure that success is yours.

And remember, that once you begin to progress, perfection will not matter because progress is usually preceded by the very perfection you are craving. Nature has way of balancing everything out. Trust in your abilities and have faith on God. Yes, God.
And take care.

-forever motivated.

Dude, we ARE free! So, Happy Independence Day.

15th August was India’s Independence day and I came across at least 7 (i did not count) posts asking if we are ‘actually‘ free. Every one questioned the existence of freedom in the true sense of the word. So, I googled the word and tried to answer (and justify) to myself that India, is in fact free and carries forth this message across to her inhabitants.
According to the Oxford dictionary, freedom is defined as the following:

  • the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants
  • the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved
  • (freedom from) the state of not being subject to or affected by (something undesirable)
  • archaic familiarity or openness in speech or behaviour

The country deserves to be respected for what has been tried. 65 years is young. I agree that we have a long, long way to go, but India, has provided for a lot of what we enjoy. We know how badly rotten the system gets in here because we ‘know‘ it. How many of us actually, truly, diligently follow world news? Unless there is a major scam or err, the Olympics, do we really care about how China, or USA are faring? No. Not until our money is involved in the economic meltdown that happened a few years ago. No. Not until our children were working in their nations and got laid-off.

So, no. It is not fair to compare the ‘freedom’ in our nation to that in theirs. A parent shouldn’t compare two siblings because however similar they are genetically, they are each different. Similarly, every country has its history and its unique set of issues and problems.
The American constitution was written in the year 1787 and they have the advantage of more than a century (i suck at math) to themselves!
So quit comparing ‘how fast the internet is’ in the two countries to judge how free WE are.
The political issues there are not even close to the number of issues we have, point noted. The number of political parties which actively participate are TWO. Just two. The number of people in the House are lesser. Whereas, in India, there are this many parties. I could not fit all the parties in ONE screenshot, so you can do the math without me having to actually go through the mammoth task of counting them out for you. I also agree, that this volume is no excuse to be corrupt. Of course it isn’t. Nothing can be an excuse to be corrupt and gobble the money paid by the citizens as taxes. But it also doesn’t state that we are un-free. We are! If this isn’t freedom then what is? If you have a cause, make your party and stand for it, contest elections, win and then, change the nation.

source: wiki

As for the corruption that everyone is SO constipated about. Don’t blame freedom for corruption. If people are dishonest and have questionable morals then what role does freedom has to play in it? It is our sad luck that we are taught the art of bribing. I see many of my friends bribe police officials to get out of traffic hassles and then I see the same friends write status updates on Facebook regarding the Anna hazare issue and voicing how strongly they feel about (or against) corruption. The change has to come from within. You cannot keep asking the same and incorrect questions year after year. Ask if this nation is honest, and there will be an answer in the negative, because ‘honestly’, no one is honest. Not in india and not abroad.
So if your quest is to live in a world free of dishonesty, cheating and liars then you my friend, desire a utopic world, cuz let’s be sensible and understand that this world is not going to happen. WHY? Because there is always a person who will cheat and lie and that ruins the entire cycle of honesty.

And then, let me come to the whole ‘rape’ ‘murder’ and crime point of freedom. According to statistics, 1 in 200 women in the United Kingdom have been raped at some point in their life. Remember, the population in India is far higher than out there, so the number WILL be higher. What is wrong in this country is the Justice system, which is slow. There, because of whatever reasons (efficient jurisdiction and laws?!) the processing seems to be quicker. I’ll need my lawyer friends to guide me through this, so I shall refrain from commenting on this further.
Now I stressed on the word ‘seem’ because I don’t know how fast or quick it really is. It is quicker than ours, especially if we take Kasab’s example! Again, women are allowed to wear what they want and wander on the streets when they want. What we need ‘freedom’ from is the constant fear of being raped. The solution to this problem is NOT running away to a foreign country and pretend like we have gotten away from everything that was possibly ‘wrong’. Men are there everywhere and so is crime. Face it. The chances may reduce but never diminish to an absolute zero. Click here to see how many women feel something similar to, or are actually raped every year in different countries. What needs to change is HOW we think. What needs to change is actually, a lot. But why question freedom?

I recently read an article about how a Hindu family was split in two fractions because their house was exactly at the Indo-Bangladesh border. And no, they were not allowed to stay together in the same nation. Most of the family which was in the West-Bengal region of the house slowly joined into the state. After 65 years, when the grandson went to visit his ‘siblings across the border’, he was astonished to find that they had all converted to Islam as they found it increasingly difficult to live in Bangladesh as hindus. Aside from Shiv Sena’s example in Maharashtra (which was highly criticised as it is), I haven’t heard of any such personal event of forced change of religion. If anything, the minority is placed at a pedestal in India, with all the reservations they get. I don’t wish to get into any of the debate encircling this topic, but hey they’re free here aren’t they?

[On a side note: As far as education abroad goes, yes the universities in certain countries feature in the world’s best whereas ours don’t even feature in the top 200. Agreed. But tell someone from Harvard that you’re from a university in India and they will look at you with an admiration that will make you glow. Trust me, because I have felt it myself.]

I have only touched upon some very basic and fundamental topics here. My aim was merely to tell all my extremely educated friends that questioning isn’t the way out of everything. I know, that joining the politics isn’t possible for everyone (it is not for me) and neither is changing the country possible single-handedly. Yes, maybe the roads abroad are cleaner, but by abroad do you mean just the USA and UK or do you also count Ethiopia as abroad? It is narrow, the way we think. India may not be as good as ‘them’ but we aren’t half as bad either. Give this lady a chance before you run off to a foreign nation on your folks’ money and earn in dollars. She will surprise you. Also, I request you to change your parameters of judgement. Don’t compare freedom by the success that we’ve achieved. Freedom is different. Freedom is when you’re allowed to be who you are and feel what you feel and say what you want to.
What everyone is asking for (non-spittable roads, non-urinated sidewalks, clean government and you-know-the-drift) requires a dictatorship and then, we’ll see how many want the ‘freedom’ back. Aha.

The biggest test of freedom is in the freedom to criticise

So is India free? Yes.
Are we free? Yes.

Don’t stop questioning. Just change your questions and strive for what YOU can do.

-love, stay tangled.

Happy Independence Day!

School, as they made it..

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They are my friends from school and they kinda made the last few years in it. Fights, break ups, crushes, laughters, tears, jokes, sports, medals, honours, punishments, suspensions, photographs, surgeries, spellings, injuries, phone calls, letters, this that and the other. Sugar spice and everything nice! I love you all. And I can’t wait to meet you all in October..or sooner!

The kind of man I want.

The usual handsome, intelligent, funny, witty, rich categories stand true for every girl. It is different issue, how many actually get the man whofulfils the aforementioned criteria.

I look for certain things, certain qualities in men and I realised this when I found myself thinking about something totally opposite- thebkind of women I don’t prefer. That being said, how should he be?
Physically: he shouldn’t be buffed up. I find men with extreme built to resemble an inverted cone and no brains. Yes, I generalise but somehow I’d like a boyfriend and not a wrestler/ boxer. But if Vjiendar comes over to me I wouldn’t mind. Oh what looks! He should be fit and lean. Anyway. The men I find myself attracted to have good hair. By that, I mean hair which is straight and slightly brown. And it flops on their forhead while they are concentrating on work and it keeps annoying them but they’d never let go of it.
He should have a gait. No, he shouldn’t walk like a girl or walk extra fast. He shouldne take tiny steps or take gigantic leaps. He should walk with an air of confidence around them and a gait that shows how much of a man he is.
When he holds my hand or when he shakes hands with me, the grip should be firm. Not hard or hurting but firm.
He should be taller than me. The height of a man is a big brwnie point but..but he should be a giant. 6 feet is where I draw my line. And must not have thin bony legs with lot of hair.

Appearance: I don’t like hippies or guys with swag. Come on. Swag is for kids, for those who have an identity crisis. You are a man and so, you should dress like one. He should wear shirts and shorts alike and he must know how to carry them off. He should know what he likes and dislikes so that I can purchase things for him accordingly. He should not wear purple with yellow. Purple is my favourite and so is red.
He should have clean, neatly cut nails on both his fingers and toes. His feet shouldn’t be filthy. He shouldn’t be dirty. Bathing is important, however useless it is in the end of the day. He should have clean bathroom habits. His hair should be nicely cut to suit however his face is. I like short hair but he may grow it and pretend to like a buffoon for a while.

Spirituality: He shouldn’t be a bhakt. I have nothing against it but somehow, religion and I don’t gel. He can pray and believe in his God. Ofcourse, it is his choice but he shouldn’t make me pray with him. Sometimes, sure. Not all the time.

Food: He has to be a non vegetarian. If not, he has to let me be one. I’d love it if he is one cuz that way we can travel around the globe and eat weird food! If he’s a vegetarian, I’d eat what he likes too, along with chicken and eggs 🙂

Hobbies: He should have one passion in life. He has to be into something other than work. And he must read books. Reading is an essential criteria not just for men but for human beings as a whole. And when I do write something he should understand it. I communicate best in English so his English must be good. And that is the only reason I harp upon this fact so often. Communication I essential. So it is either Bengali or English. Also, music. The choice in music has to similar. He can listen to all the metal and grunge rock he wants to but I must be able to listen to my blues and kishore kumars as well on the Bose.

He must love babies. Like, he must absolutely adore them. Not because I want them for myself nut because how in the world can you not like babies? I run towards any random kid on the road and cuddle it. He must share this. Must. Must. Absolutely must. He should also be good with them!
And he has to have his career in top priority and he should keep mine in there, with his tip priority as well because my career is as essential as anybody else’s.

And then there are the miscellaneous brownie points which accounts for the individual differences. In the end, he should make me the centre of his world and I will make him the centre of my universe.
🙂

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This is my idea of the perfect looking man. *drools*

-feel the love!

Dig boy, dig!

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Don't doubt yourself. Just change to grow.

I’ve often seen myself to crouch in like tortoise when I face strong people. I don’t mean people who are physically strong..it is the mind that I fear.
Such people are not found everywhere. One needs to dig into the world and run in circles which present these people. They aren’t born this way, circumstances have made them strong both mentally and spiritually. They know what they want and they know exactly who they are. They know black from white, right from wrong and past from present. They know all this because they have seen the greys and uncorrected truth.

Uncorrected truth. Can truth really be corrected? Is it not supposed to be unadulterated? But what of we add on to the truth..not correcting it but simply adding to it? Does it change the truth or merely add another layer to it?
In our country, a female is worshipped in the form of goddesses and the same female is made to serve tea and massage her husbands dirty feet. Which truth am I to believe? Both of them are equally true and stark, at that. If I change the latter it would still remain the truth? But with a change does it remain the same truth or is it a new truth that I have formed by the alteration? If I do change the latter, in a hypothetical utopic world (sadly) it would be eradicated, and then what would remain of the truth that used to exist?

This is just one example. And with so many truths and so many variations of one truth, what am I supposed to believe and how am I to decide? Who tells me if my choice is the right choice? Who decides which is the right choice?

I am faced with options and I am exposed to media which burst out opinions and views and temperaments at me day in and day out. The people..the strong people that I was talking about initially have also made their choices from these very sources and from life. How am I supposed to form my view about an event that hasn’t occured with me yet? How should I decide if I am a feminist, or let’s say a theist or an athiest?

I have my set of beliefs which are constantly questioned and ground and refined and battered and bruised. I am questioned and bombarded with how I am to believe in someone else’s belief. Everyone guards their set of views so closely and so strictly. I am correct and you should listen to me as well. I have worked hard to develop these beliefs..this truth..
Should I listen to them? I want to make my own truth but I am not sure where to begin. Do I like the colour pink? Do I want the world to be under dictatorship? Does god exist? The kind of people I fear do not have any indifference towards anything. They have a view about everything. Open to change, but rarely do they change. They have an answer for everything. They have an opinion.

I want to be able to make a point and stand by it but I often lack the confidence to hold my own. Yes most of you will feel that I already have a strong character but that is because you yourself are as confused as I am..I can defend myself before you. And you believe my truth as easily as you would believe theirs.
But I make, in front of them, desparate attempts at hiding my naive attempts to formulate a truth system for myself.

Let me state the example of how I formed one of my beliefs. There is a God. I made my theorem about the existence of God from an interesting class that I attended. Started believing in the existence of God once I learnt how amazingly intricate yet astonishingly similar each and every human body is. Every bone and every detail is similar in each of us and yet we are all different. Every chemical physical and biological change or reaction the happens in and around us is proof of the existence of God. Science, he most vehiment opposed of God is ironically, the only proof of Its presence. I believe. (I have the entire write up which shall be posted later)

But such life altering experiences are rare and happen at times which are least expected. Should I wait for an event to occur and wait for the formation of beliefs or should I make mine on the basis or the few experiences that I have already have and hold on to an opinion that may or may not be entirely correct?

This brings me to an opinion being correct and incorrect. Yes. Every aspect of life has a correct and incorrect..but your opinion is yours. It may or may not be correct. You may or may not decide to change it once you learn the difference and are enlightened about it.
Strong people scare me. They are so obstinate about their views and opinions that even after knowing what IS correct they choose to rebel and believe in their truth rather than the whole truth. The truth however, is often tinted by the rules of society. So what am I to believe? Should I blindly believe the strong ones and follow them, should I accept the rules of the society or should I wait indefinitely for an event which may or may not occur so that I am strong enough to make my own belief?

I like to think of myself as malleable. Neither too rigid about what I think nor too flaccid. I have an opinion about everything and will defend it till I can but I am open to change. But that’s just till I can call myself strong. Till then, I’ve decided to do what the picture says..

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from the bettermanprojects

I may not agree with what you say but I will defend till death, your right to say it

Here’s to a lot of questions and being open ended. Here’s to options. And here’s to opinions.

Here’s to me. And you. And a coexisting world.
-stay with me.

Show love. See love.

This song has been on my phone for less than a few weeks and it already ranks right there at the top with I will follow you into the dark and Fix you. It is somehow very compatible with what I have been through in the last few days. And it is so true.

Don’t cry for your love. Cry tears of joy. ‘Cause you’re alive, cradled in love.

Everytime I feel negativity and I feel sad thoughts enter into my soul, I imagine all the love that I get..I feel all the love that I wish I would get. And then I ‘know’ that I am loved. And I feel happy. All the melancholy and the blues turn into bright oranges and yellows! It is such a beautiful feeling to know how it is to be loved, isn’t it? Love. We type cast it into merely a boy-girl relationship whereas infact, it is so much more than just that. Love is such a vast feeling, that it is not possible for us, mortals, to understand it completely. And here we are, proclaiming ourselves to be maestros in this field when in reality, we know squat!

What is love? Is it what I see my mother feel for me or is it what I feel for my best friend? Don’t I love animals, or perhaps my grandmom?
They always end up saying ‘No, I dont love you like that.’ Well, tough luck, there is just ONE kind of love and that is true love. Love can be nothing but pure. So when you say that you ‘love’ someone, anyone, mean it. Don’t be frivoulous with it. Don’t use it all the time and dont be stringent with its usage either. Be wise. Even a child feels love, but the child expresses it in ways which are far wiser than ours. Innit?

Gifting roses and writing ballads isn’t how one shows love. Sure, they are one of the hundred trillion ways to express love to someone but they aren’t IT, if you know what I mean. Love needs to be expressed in small, subtle ways. And, those subtlties need to be understood and appreciated.

As important as it is to express love and caring, it is equally important to understand when it is being shown (or not) to you. Everyone will not go down on their knees and every child will not make you birthday cards just because you are their teacher. We need to understand the love that is being given to us. Also, we need to remember that just because someone is showing love he/she needn’t truly love us. Of course now, that isn’t always the case.

And I emphasise again, this isn’t the teenage or boyfriend-girlfriend love I am referring to. This is love, in general, for your parents, siblings, friends, pets, gadgets (?), sugar spice and everything nice!

I have learnt to see love when it is given to me. I was ignorant, initially and i still am naive but i am getting there. I used to expect it to be shown in the forms that we are all used to but not everyone is a jigsaw that will fit into your pre-formed mould. Every once in a while, a special person walks into your life who’ll show you his (or her) love in ways that you haven’t ever seen before and you’ll just have to be intelligent and understand them. you will have chip your jigsaw and make place for that person and let him or her in. And you gotta stop making that person fall into the cliched norms..accept their ways.

He may not call you in the middle of the night to proclaim his love for you. She may not knit you sweaters. He may not fight for you. She may not cuddle.
But.. he will silently feel bad when you’re upset and she will scold you because you smoke. And he will make sure you’re comfortable while you sleep and she will wait for you to get back home before she eats. Saying an I love you isn’t what showing love is.
Showing love is far simpler. And, actions speak louder than words. It is in the everyday actions. Every time he winks, every time a kindergartener makes you a card, everytime a dog licks your face, everytime she holds your hand before tripping shows that they trust you, that they care, that they love you.

Stop imagining your life to be a movie. It is not. It is better. There may not be background music and there may not be drama but it is life. And life is beautiful, nonetheless and it is bursting over the seams with love!

You just got to see it. And since romance is the lobe we best understand, I used that example to explain how love is grossly misunderstood. Love is you and me and everything in between 🙂

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-stay loved.