Insomnia.

Is it not super weird that just when you are going to sleep, the clock starts to tick louder? I am awake now. The room is as quiet as it would be if I had my lights out and was planning to sleep. YET, the damn clock keeps reminding me of the time passing by.

tick.tock.tick.tock.tick.tock.tick.tock

I was trying to sleep the other night, and an honest effort at that. The moment I was close to getting that heavy feeling over my eyes the door moved. It is the monsoon here, in West Bengal, so the door gets a mind of its own. I had clumsily forgotten to lock it while sleep-walking into my room after a pee break from studies. Sigh, small things punish you and you know not when. Anyhow, I tried to ignore it. But it happened again. And then i tried to ignore it again. But it kept happening. Then, I felt my ear grow. No, like literally g-r-o-w. And the little pointy end of it bent towards the door, focussing all my latent concentration into the creaking noise my door made.

It is freakishly crazy, how much of concentration i put in that night on the ajar door. I actually got so tired of waiting for the next sound to just appear out of nowhere is that I slept.
But woke up. Again. and then I was cranky because I really wanted to sleep but could not ’cause the sound kept magnifying itself, aside for just being random and rhythm-less. And then it rained. WOW- more noise. And there was lightning. WOW- MORE LIGHT TOO! My night just got made. Not. I tried counting sheep but my sheep turned Rainbow coloured and started jumping over trees instead of fences and I got interested rather than sleepy. Then, that sound creaked again and my ears became all dog-eared (correct use? 😛 ) and I concentrated on the sound again. And felt tired of waiting. And then, I finally slept…and kept waking up, but slept nonetheless.

Anyway, gotta sleep now too. Or try to. The random, intermittent sounds with no fixed patter are all the more frustrating…like the water dripping from the tap your plumber is not fixing. Just a thought. Happy ‘not’ concentrating.

Sigh, here’s to a good night’s sleep. Cheers!

Thank YOU!

I usually update my blog via the phone and the WordPress app on android is WAY better than that on Symbian. I decided to check my Stats today and was mighty surprised!
I thank you, truly. I got likes on my Facebook page from people I do not know, and that is surely a positive step. the word is spreading. More the people, higher is the interaction and better will be my posts.

Thats the way the cookie crumbles!

Thanks you Romania, for viewing my page more than my home country! That is something really unusual for me, given that my blog does tend to centre around country-specific issues at times. And the rest of the times, they are girl blabbers and philosophy lectures. I am guessing you all like it, cuz in the last 3 weeks I have got a thousand hits (and I am not kidding). Thousand maybe a small number for all the pro-bloggers out there, but for me it is H-U-G-E 😀

And Philippines? I know where that came from. Thanks Katrina. (:

This blog has not only help get through a break up and a patch up, it has connected me to some beautiful people and I have made some very thick friends. it fetched me my job with Lucideus Tech and even got my mother into reading what i write regularly. It acted as a conversation starter with my father and got me praises from the world over. Thank you. From the core of my heart.

Keep sending me the love. I surely do love you.

-stay tangled

xoxo

Dr. Phil

Have you ever broken any china? Noticed how it shatters into smithereens just a micro-second after it hits the concrete floor?
Have you ever tried to fix that broken china? I have. With feviquick and superglue. And i felt like a toddler trying to solve a really hard puzzle. And when i finally managed to glue all the tiny parts together, i felt proud of the achievement and the fine deception of cracks that i managed. Wont you feel proud of yourself?

Now look at it this way- it is easier to glue the larger pieces together right? The smaller the chip, the harder it gets to find the right spot. When will a glass sheet or white-clay in this matter, break into really large pieces? Probably when it itself is pretty large.

It is common sense. A large thing will end up breaking into relatively larger parts than a small thing. Large things are easier to fix. Large things are also more difficult to break.

So. Make your heart a large one. Be big hearted. Give. Laugh loudly. Take. Snort. Sleep well. Eat cheese. Make your heart so big, that small events fail to puncture it. Make it so large that it assimilates all the sadness and then burps it out. And even if it does manage to wound itself and break once ina while, it will be easier to find the pieces and put them back together. A big heart heals quicker. A big heart hurts lesser.
Love people. Love yourself. Then, all the happiness will be yours in a heart beat 🙂

Look at the pretty things in life. Look at the butterflies (are they still there or have they become extinct?). Smell the flowers. Sleep under a starry sky. I know that these are all cliches but they are cliches for a reason…they work. Be crazy. But be big. Be magnanimous. Be all of this so that you are safe and so that you dont get hurt. Always think about yourself first. This isn’t being selfish. This is merely called ‘taking care’.

So. Found any butterflies? I love those creatures.

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G-raped.

I live in a small town right now, courtesy college. Okay, big town but town, nonetheless. I think twice before wearing jeans and wandering there. Why should I? Why can I not wear Jeans or three-quarters comfortably in a town where guys roam around semi-naked wrapping their privates in flimsy gamchhas?
I am not even asking to wear shorts. Oh no. That would surely equal r-a-p-e.

GotStared.At

It could just be me. Or you. Or her. Or any of us. I try to act cool and joke about it. I try to pretend like it won’t happen with me but the truth is, that it might as well have already happened. A single girl being raped equals a rape of all of the female fraternity. No, this is not done and no matter how many times it is emphasized on the social networking sites, this matter will not end if facts do not enter the thick skulls of men.

Yes, I generalized. I said men as a whole because men treat women in the collective sense of the term. Of course all men aren’t the same and I myself know hundred males who behave like humans. Bu the hundred and first male is always there, just waiting to break the trust. Someone is always there. Always. Lurking.

GotStared.At

I live in the fear of being given this punishment by some adrenaline pumped guy just because ‘he felt like it’. I feel scared of saying ‘no’ to a guys proposal because he might just do something which I would fail to prevent. Or erase. Or forget.

Not just that…a guy does not have to go all the way to make a girl feel ‘touched’ and I do not mean touched emotionally. Groping a girl or ogling at her will not make her like you any more (or less). Take her permission. Ask her. Respect her. That’s the way to go.

This is not a gender power-play. You cannot ‘assume’ that you can make us do what you want. You cannot mis-treat women because you are men.You cannot simply, rape us.

GotStared.At

The more I say it, the more stupid I feel. Why am I writing this? Will those men read this? I have seen how guys discuss women and by guys I mean men from well-educated backgrounds and families. It is simply disgusting and it makes me want to vomit, the fact that I know such guys. This mentality is the seed for all the vengeance that they harbor. They keep count of the number of girls that they have ‘done’ and they assess a girls qualities by the size of her breasts. What are we- dolls that you will play with? I witnessed a boy go up to a girl and ask her why she wears clothes that cover everything. Imagine his audacity. The answer my friend (sadly), is you. Men like you make our parents teach us to dress well. And by ‘well’ they don’t mean what makes us comfortable; they mean what makes you less animalistic. Why should it be this way? Why can your parents not teach you to look at us with respect?
Why can’t you listen to your folks when they tell you to ‘ask’ a girl out? Why can you not let us believe that we are safe…that the roads as much ours as they are yours after the sun sets? Why do we have to quicken our steps in a ‘bad neighbourhood’? Why does there have to be a bad neighbourhood?

GotStared.At

If a girl bends in front of you to pick up a piece of paper, she was not provoking you. No, she does not want to entice you. All she wanted to do was to pick up that piece of paper…she did not want you to mind-rape her. She surely did not want you and your friends to gang rape her in the alley near her hostel. No, she did not want to be killed.

GotStared.At

I am not safe, and neither are you. And this fact will not change. Accept it.
But don’t stop questioning it.
WHY can it NEVER be safe?

GotStared.At

(all images and posters are from GotStared.At. search them on facebook and follow them. spread the word. that might just help)

The truth about dentistry.

Before i begin, let me clarify that i am only in the process of becoming a dentist and that i study in a government college. My views are mine only and i shall talk about the profession, not the college.

17th July is the date for the counselling of the next batch of aspirants..for MBBS and BDS. I, being a senior, am anticipating an exciting batch with a mix of good bad and ugly people. The foremost truth these poor lost souls need to know is that we dentists pride in calling ourselves Dental Surgeons. So be it. Dental surgeons it is.

I am a dental surgeon in the making. You see we are all trained to be cockroaches. We have to build for ourselves a thick exoskeleton to protect ourselves from the constant hand burning and skin shearing. There is blood wound and tetanus involved too. Girls will shout and scream and boys need to be strong enough to rotate the bench press.
Yes i am still talking about my course. The practical lab work involves taking a hot brass flask out of boiling hot water and then beating it open with a modified hammer called a mallate (to name one process)..
There is a story behind this mallate as well..you see, since we have to beat open a metal container with a flimsy wooden hammer, it breaks the minute it makes contact. So all of us have atleast 9670377 mallates in our lockers. This process is called Dewaxing or Curing, depends in the step you are doing. A lot of things can go wrong. I have had hot boiling water spill on me, have struck the mallate directly on my pinky finger, have had the flask fall on my shoe etc.
Anyway. If you are taking up this course be ready to suffer 4 years of hand bruising and keep some Burnol handy. Your skin shall definitely be more keratinised than the non-dentists of the world. Smile.

Next. We are all ultimately pseudo- doctors in the eyes of the rest of the world. Remember, every professor you have will tell you that BDS is a far superior course than its counterpart MBBS. Believe them.
When i said pseudo-doctors, i meant it. What happens is, since we know that we don’t have to deal with the rest of the ailments of the body, our brain begins to categorise information (read: things to mug) into two folders- non-essential and somewhat essential. The end result is that we don’t really know much in the end cuz all the data ultimately gets stored in the non-essential folder!
Oh don’t get me wrong..everything is important for examinations. I topped. Haha.
So when you old uncle Sharma asks you to prescribe for his disease look confident and hand him an antibiotic. Tell yourself that you know stuff even though you actually don’t. Or you may actually know it. Ha.

The only time will wear that sacred stethoscope is in your physiology prac class. And Medicine or Surgery classes. The first time you put it around your neck, your heart will pound and your chest will inflate.. remember that feeling cuz that probably is the last time you will feel that. Also, everyone clicks pictures that day. Do it. Keep it as a memory.
In all honesty, the need for checking respiratory sounds is pretty remote in our field of expertise. Existent, but remote.

The same thing will happen on the day of your first anatomy prac. You will click pictures of yourself beside a cadaver (dead body) and then go home to show off to your folks friends and grandparents. I did too..there is no shame. But when you will have to remember the names of every artery nerve and muscle and bone and crevice and hole in the body, you will curse yourself for being proud of that picture..

Also. When someone says ‘oh you will perform tooth extractions’, correct them and tell them that this field is far far faaaar more advanced than that. Ask him to change his consulting dental surgeon. Tell aunty that conservative treatment is the way we sway now. Spread awareness.
No, vampire teeth cannot be cultivated on a medium. Twilight is not true. Ugh.

When you pass out of 2nd year, which i will be doing in a months time, be sure of the fact that what you learn the lab and pre clinical classes will all be proved incorrect after you step in to the clinics. Remember how, when we were in school we used to learn one theorem in a class and then when we reached a higher class that theorem was proved wrong? College is no different. Smile again.

Now now. All those who have stumbled into this profession because of a low rank..it is probably for the best. MBBS is a suck-your-soul profession. No offense to them, but i am thrilled to have not chosen that course. Dentistry is far better. Lesser studying and more time. And more money if you care, and if you do things properly.

All the hand burning, picture clicking and remorse over not getting to be a ‘doctor’ will go away. You will make some friends who are irreplacable..though this is true for any course. The things that you did not learn in college will be taught during your MDS or in your clinic.

Be a cockroach. Be proud.
-stay tangled. 😉

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What you will make 🙂

Kya India Badhega?

We all shout out loud and walk in the morchas to support development and what not. We support the advancement of women, fight for the rights of homosexuals, watch Satyameva Jayate and feel indebted to a country that has given us literally everything we have and has made us everhthing we are. Yet, we criticise it and look at the flaws with magnifying glasses.
It is correctly said, criticism is the strongest test of democracy. We go on about how Calcutta has no ‘life’ and how Delhi is the ‘it’ city. We compare Mumbai to the world and always want to run from the place that we owe everything to. No dont get me wrong, i too am a part of this rat race..

But what is development? A few days back when i was following the Euro2012, i had an argument with someone online. The argument was fine..he was laughing at me cuz Germany lost. Epic sadness.. But what ticked me off more was that he had incorrect grammar. I am no Shakespear but i know what to say when, most of the time.
Not just him, even my school is famous for the ‘maam he said to me’ and other such vocal typos. We, despite being from the most elite school of Calcutta, (yes i am taking creative liberty) do not know simple English. And i said WE which does include me. Then on the other side we have the winner of Horlicks WizKids..not once but twice..from our school. Ironic?

Yesterday when i was walking towards my room i saw a man. Nothing major in seeing a man..only that he took Metrosexual to another level.
Why? He was carrying a shocking pink bag with ‘Barbie’ written on it through and through. Barbie? Seriously? And he travels with me in the bus and i see him carrying that bag every weekend now.
I know that i should not compare the growth of Calcutta to that of barddhaman but then why should just one city of a state show ‘apparent’ growth?
I still cannot get over his bag. Not yet.

And as i have mentioned before, i fail to decipher the incessant need to mate and copulate. Everyone has to have a girlfriend and then sit under trees or bushes or any other flat surface availabe to them which is slightly covered and snog. Snog Snog snoggggg.

Ever visited Victoria at dawn? Now multiply that by 50 and that is Krishna Sayar Park in my current town. And if people find it okay to make out in a heritage site like Victoria then i have nothing more to say in their favour or against. To ask them to get a room would be an understated request..

If development is what we are aiming for then why are we mistaking it for Money? Shouldnt money be a means to get development and not the definition of it?

Think about it. Incorrect languages (no, even our Hindi or Bengali is not completely correct) and mistaken sexuality..insatiable dating and a serious lack of space. Developed?

Grammar is hot.
Pink is hot too..but sadly people interpret it otherwise.
And please, Get. A. Room.

Okthksbye.

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I took this from my phone so big shout-out to the phone 😀

Angel; Devil? Gossip Girl.

I have had a myriad of thoughts for this posts. It is like my mind whizzes through ideas and decides to jump from one amazing concept to another. Gosh.

A few of them are:

  • To write a synopsis of the IIFA awards. but then, it will be out in the papers tomorrow and as usual, the supplement is the first thing I read (after the first page cuz that is literally thrust into my face). So that idea is scratched. Besides, I did not like it enough to write about it.
  • To write about exams.
  • To sleep.
  • To watch Gossip Girl, not write this post at all and ogle at Chuck Bass.
I’m Chuck Bass. Your argument is invalid.

I had more but I forgot. does this happen to you as well? do you have short-term memory loss too? I keep forgetting stuff. I walk into the bathroom without my towel.

(wait important phone call. I will forget what I thought AGAIN)

And as predicted, I have forgotten. Woohoo! -__-
Anyway, I think I should go back to watching Gossip Girl and continue my preparations to being a bitch and what not. Poor Serena gets  all the trouble. HAHA.

I am a very nice person. I called my bff’s roomie. First step. AGAIN. Will this lead to the friendship again? Kehte hai na, ek baar gaanth par jaye toh hatana mushkil hai. So I feel my angel halo glowing right now. I don’t know what good will come out of that one fateful phone call. I am weirded out by the fact that I might have to talk to her again.
You ever felt that way, the kind where you forget how it was talking to someone because you haven’t spoken to them in ages? I get that feeling SO often these days courtesy texting and im-ing, phone calls have become a thing of the past.

See now that is why I need to watch (and learn from) GG. Being a bitch becomes essential in college. Why?

  • To save your file work from being xeroxed and plastered onto every other file in the universe
  • To save your spot on the benches near the AC
  • To get the best parking space so that the cycle seat doesn’t get all hot.
  • To get into the bathroom on time (while it is clean).
    To mention just a few. Oh, and to prevent dirty almost-nude pictures of yourself and your girls from going online! That’d be ghastly.
  • From kicking your ego aside again and again to remain friends with your friends.
  • To hide behind walls when the professor looks for you to do a project. (bitches know where to hide and how, and in style)

Anyhoo, I shall bid adieu now. *i wonder if gorgeous yummy men will flock to the Serenas of the world*

– XOXO

Rebirth

So. I had a bad day or two. But whenever I have been having a bad day and someone asks me ‘Hey Sweta how are you?’ I have a standard answer- ‘Not good, but ask me again tomorrow :)’. And this usually works. A nights sleep and some coffee and conversations, particularly with my mother, cheer me up and do that for a sufficient span of time.

I have therefore, returned to my previous ‘bubbly character’ and am determined to keep this up. College will go on, friends will change. Well, so does the weather, right?

I am in burdwan now and i was terriblly upset in the morning while leaving.. but when i returned to burdwan i was given the good news of my roomie not shifting into hostel cuz the conditions are un-liveable!! And then i showed her my phone, and she and i jumped like kids while exploring the features. Then we walked back to college and stopped to eat puchka. Btw, try the Italian capuccino flavoured ice cream that Cream Bell offers and while you’re at it try the Sacchi aam as well.. it is way better than the Kwality walls’ fruttare.
I saw her laugh and i forgot all about being sad. NOW dyu understand why she means so much to me?!

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After that we tied up a friends bag to the college gate and ran as fast as we could. Er, cycled not ran. Haha. Today was a fun day in college. Weather was great and company was even better!

Then i met this realllllllly senior dentist friend of mine. Dada, really and he’s been blessed with a son. The son is so cute!! And their puppy dog has grown majestic like any other German shephard. Loved to be a part of their joy and i forgot about my temporary miseries.

I am happy with where i am. Come on, university rank holder, college topper, why the hell should i be upset? I have far outnumbered the downs in my life by the ups. I am happy because i deserve to be. Everyone has gloomy days and the gloomy ones make u realise the worth of your sunshine-y ones. 😀

And in other news, my final exams are knocking on the door. Need to buckle up and study study study. Kyuki 3rd year mein party party paaarrttyyyy!!

Oh. So my roomie and i made mac pasta today.
Oktatabai!

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