Looking back in the rear-view

It’s funny how after going to college, every single person has made new-er friends. Some probably even better than the ones they had (read: me). They go to college as if it’s one heck of a vacation, 
they say they love it when they come back and then they cry while leaving home.
It’s funny how we all move on so quickly. How we all accept life the way it 
comes to us-wrapped in happiness as much as in sadness. Everyone waits for no one.
It’s funny how I am content with only skyping/ talking over the phone/ chatting with those very friends who I met every single day in school. Now it seems as if even that time on the net/ phone is a blessing.
It’s funny how we moved on from studying Physical Education to actually pursuing the sport we like. In some cases, we dropped it all together to join Music or Dance. In some cases, we just went abroad.
It’s funny how people I never spoke to in school are now the ones who know me the best, courtesy sms-ing and the net. It’s amusing how the written form of communication breaks down the barriers of hesitation; how I am glad that I texted X,Y and Z person that fateful night or day.
It’s funny how dates can be organised when the ‘other’ half is 2000miles away, 
but how we hardly ever met when we were in the same city.
It’s funny when I look back at the times I cried in school because of what 
a teacher said; ‘coz what she said was right. I always stood up for what I 
thought was correct. Now I know that it’s better to just ‘know’ you’re correct rather than voice it out. 
It’s funny how I thought people loved me when they clearly did not. 
That they bitched about me behind my back or were sugar-coated 
only because they wanted work out of me or wanted better grades from my mom.
It’s funny how I stayed away from the ones I loved because I did not know they loved me back. How I avoided my crushes. How I ignored a few could-be friends.

It’s funny how life goes on.
It’s funny that none of us got what we exactly wanted. By ‘us’, I mean, the humans not 
the super-humans. None got through IIT or AIIMS. Some shifted to commerce, 
some from medical to engineering. Some settled for a college less preferred, 
some settled for re-appearing next year. Despite ‘having sources in places’ some settled for 
what destiny had in store for them. YET, all of us are happy. And having the time of our lives.
It’s funny how we crib about missing school, yet are loving it in college. How we’ve pushed back the music-full assembly halls to the back of our minds and have replaced home-works with assignments.
It’s funny that we’re all holding on to the past with one hand and are rushing towards 
our future with the rest of our body, mind and soul.
It’s ironic that when we were in school, we always wanted to date someone. 
A girlfriend, a boyfriend. Anyone for someone; but now that we have all the l
iberty to do that, we’re studying in either an all girls/ boys college or are living in dorms 
where the other sex is not allowed. Or, now, we’re simply NOT interested. 
It’s funny that as soon as we step into college, we feel that we’ve grown up and our
 parents think we’ve shrunk in size- literally and figuratively.
It’s funny how the people I never cared about think of me when they don’t see me shout 
down the corridor or sing Lala Lalala near the Ghugni Puchka wala.

It’s funny how the absence is felt and not the presence.
It’s hilarious to know that I still matter. 
That I still am the reason for some people. 
That I am all their reasons for someone.

“Looking back, in the rear-view,
I see the old wearing the new.”


5 thoughts on “Looking back in the rear-view

  1. Its WONDERFUL..so thoughtful-yet I'm sure you wrote it all in a flow-didnt sit down and really THINK about all this as such.I think it's awesome.The things you said about how ppl move fwd and yet cling onto the past actually reminded me of how typical a part of human nature that is.Awesome,really =)

  2. Zeph, I burst out crying. Yes, burst out. While reading this.For someone who's been there. Is still there, I have no words.Yes, I like college. But then, college is no school. And college doesn't have you.When I agreed to you the other day about not liking Delhi more because you aint here, I meant it.In spite of all the phone calls and texts, the truth is, I miss you.But then, this IS life. We have to live it. And I manage to keep myself happy thinking about the dreams we've woven. Plus, there's so much to do here!Jo bhi, this was something I could totally relate to. Each one of us can I guess!Take care. Love.

  3. loved it…trust me when i say this…if life gives me a second chance to relive all the moments spent with you & the other lsaites, good or bad, i would grasp it with open hands….on one hand we may see college life as an exteremly exciting & fun-filled journey but surely enough, school & friends made there , will be sorely missed coz…some promises are always unbroken,some memories are always unwritten,feel the magic of true relation & u'll know that the real feeling is always unspoken…!!!(remember this sms u sent me!!! :P)so true…take care

  4. Madhvika- This is perhaps the only post i dint SIT and THINK of. I wrote it just as u put it- in a flow! Thanks girl. =)Pie- We're in the same country, in the same world. College is temporary, We are forever na?Shubham- Yes, I remember it. And I too would grasp the offer. :)Thnks, 🙂

  5. I found a link to the most recent post on my facebook news feed..and I started looking around. I have to say, that I am most bowled by the amazing,absolutely *true* way of expressing things.This post is so beautiful and well timed (with reference to events occuring in my life,ofcourse..)that it really struck a cord within.Loved it.:)

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